Gopal Bhand: 12 Stories

Who was Gopal Bhand, any way?

Gopal Bhand was not just another name for a person but was very much part of the everyday life of a by-gone era. Whenever, one looks at the history of Bengal with special reference to the rule of Maharaja Krishna Chandra, they will come across the character of Gopal Bhand, the jester at his majesty’s court.

Gopal was born in the village of Ghurni, north of Krishna Nagar. He lost his father at a very young age and because of economic reasons could not continue with his education. Still, whatever he had learnt in the early days along with his in-born intelligence, he became an intellectual.

Gopal belonged to the clan of barbers, famous for their quick wit. There is a saying that crows among the bird and barbers among the humans are the cleverest species in the whole world. Gopal lived up to this saying; from the very beginning he showed signs of cleverness and cunning. He grew up entertaining people all around him and soon people started calling him Gopal Bhand or Gopal the Jester.

His reputation slowly but steadily spread across the country and soon reached the Maharaja Krishna Chandra. The Maharaja called him and tested his talents with inquisitive and difficult questions, but Gopal was at ease with all kinds queries and answered fluently. At last, satisfied, Maharaja Krishna Chandra appointed him as Court Jester.

Soon, his reputation as court jester spread across the length and breadth of the country like wild fire and Gopal Bhand was being compared with the antics of Birbal, one of the jewels in the court of Emperor Akbar.

It has been over three centuries from the times of Gopal Bhand, but his stories and innocent jibes still tickle us and lighten our otherwise stressful life.

The stories of Gopal Bhand are quite similar to the ones of Birbal in the north and Tenali Rama in down south which makes one wonder if really these characters actually existed or the stories are just figment of imagination of some unknown author!!!

I have read these stories in the original language – Bengali and decided to translate them for my son when he was a kid. Now posting them here for all the kids and the ones who are young at heart, still, just like me…

ONECEREMONIAL BULL

Gopal, the Jester a.k.a. GOPAL BHAND, was a great entertainer at the courts of Maharaja Krishna Chandra, the ruler of Krishna Nagar in Bengal. His famous stories and escapades were not only discussed within the town of Krishna Nagar but reached across the length and breadth of the sub-continent of India.

Once long ago, Mirzaffar, the Nawab of Bengal on his way back home from a campaign stopped near the town of Krishna Nagar and camped on the outskirts of the town along with his sizable army.

Incidentally around this time, the Maharaja Krishna Chandra was performing the last rites of his father and offered a healthy bull to the God as appeasement so that his father can achieve eternal peace in heaven. After the ceremony, the bull was set free to roam around.

The bull roamed the streets of Krishna Nagar and passing by the camp of Nawab Mirzaffar when the Nawab caught the sight of the bull. The Nawab felt that the healthy bull will make a nice and elaborate meal for the whole group. He ordered his men to catch the bull immediately. He told his chef, ”This is a healthy bull, tomorrow make a curry and kebabs with its meat for all of us.”

Meanwhile the news of capture of the bull reached the Maharaja and he became worried for the fact that if the ceremonial bull is killed then his father will not enjoy the eternal bliss. He realized that he is no match to the mighty army of the Nawab. Also any request to set free the ceremonial bull will fall in deaf ears as the Nawab has already decided to kill the bull for sumptuous banquet. A pall of gloom set on the courts of the Maharaja. The ministers at the court were all at loss for any plausible advice. Everybody hoped for a miracle to happen that will set free the ceremonial bull.

Gopal the Jester, who was away on some work, reached the court to find everyone including the Maharaja very serious and worried. He asked “Oh Maharaja, what happened? You look so worried.”

The Maharaja narrated the whole incident to him and said in despair “Gopal, I really don’t know what to do. My father will now not go to the heaven if the bull is killed.”

“Oh Maharaja, this is not so serious a matter. Don’t you worry, I will go to the Nawab and get the bull for you just now.” Gopal said enthusiastically.

“It is not so simple Gopal” said the Prime Minister. “The Nawab has set his eyes on the bull and he is not going to let it go free so easily” said another courtier.

“If the Nawab is smart, then I am smarter than him” said Gopal and set off for the camp of Nawab Mirzaffar.

“If you bring back the bull, there will be a handsome award of gold coins for you” announced the Maharaja. “So be it Maharaja, keep it ready for me” replied Gopal.

Gopal reached the encampment of the Nawab and met the minister who took him to the Nawab and said “Jahanpanah, this is Gopal Bhand, the great entertainer at the courts of Maharaja Krishna Chandra.” Everybody present there including the Nawab was well aware of Gopal’s reputation, so he was warmly welcomed by the Nawab “What brings you here, noble man?” inquired the Nawab.

Gopal bowed before the Nawab and said ”Sir, I passing by and could not let go the chance of meeting you. You lordship has done wonderful things for his subjects and everyone is pleased with your firm but judicious governance.”

The Nawab felt very pleased with Gopal’s kind words as he liked to hear good things about himself. Gopal kept the flattery on to boost the ego of the Nawab. Suddenly looking out, he said, “What is this bull doing here?”

“Do you know this bull?” inquired the Nawab. “Oh yes, very much and that’s why I am little astonished” replied Gopal.

“Oh, this is a very healthy bull, tomorrow we are all going to feast on its meat. You too can join us” said the Nawab greedily.

“What, you will be eating this dirty bull? Sir, this is no ordinary bull, it does not eat grass or foliage like other normal bulls but scavenges through the dirt of the city” said Gopal disgustingly.

The Nawab, hearing this felt nauseating and immediately ordered his men to release the bull. “Gopal, you are great, you have saved me from eating meat of such a dirty bull” the Nawab thanked Gopal profusely and gave him three gold coins as reward.

Gopal bowed again and with a large grin on his face reached the courts of Maharaja. Meanwhile the Maharaja had heard about the release of the ceremonial bull and was very pleased with Gopal Bhand.

Gopal narrated his escapades with the Nawab and everybody at the court had a hearty laugh and cheered him. The Maharaja gave him the five gold coins as promised.

TWO: STRANGER AT THE COURT

Once a stranger came to the court of the Maharaja Krishna Chandra and announced that he is a leaned intellectual and knows various languages. The Maharaja had a soft place for intellectuals and immediately appointed him as a minister.

As the days went by, it was amply clear that the stranger actually is very intelligent and a linguist. He could fluently speak English, French, Spanish and German and it was difficult to judge his nationality by the way he dressed or spoke. In all his mannerism was quite cosmopolitan.

Everybody at the court was intrigued and tried their best to guess the region where the stranger belonged. One day while they were discussing this issue, the Maharaja said jokingly, “Gopal, if you could find out the whereabouts of the stranger, I will reward you with two gold coins.”

“As you say Maharaja” replied Gopal. “In two days I will tell you the native of the stranger” Gopal said confidently.

Gopal set out to find the whereabouts of the stranger. He got to know that the stranger was to make an appearance at the court next day. Gopal reached the gates of the kings palace and hid behind a pillar. Soon the stranger came to the gates and was about enter the palace when Gopal came out of his hiding rushed towards the stranger, colliding and fell him to the ground. The stranger badly hurt himself in the fall and abused Gopal, “Are you blind, can’t you see where you are going?”

Gopal smiled at the stranger and said, “I only wanted to know your native and do so now. You are Oriya. A person will definitely speak his mother tongue at trying time.” He went inside the palace and announced, “Maharaja, the stranger is from the kingdom of Orissa.” Then he narrated how he came to know about the truth.

The Maharaja was very proud of Gopal’s quick wit and rewarded him with the promised gold coins.

THREE: WHAT DO YOU EAT FIRST?

Gopal was the most favored courtier of Maharaja Krishna Chandra and he knew that Gopal liked good food. Therefore he would invite Gopal for a meal with him time and again without waiting for any occasion.

One day after the court was adjourned in the afternoon, the Maharaja asked Gopal to join him for the lunch. “I am at your command Maharaja. I can lay down my life for you any time. You are only asking me to join you for a meal and that I cannot refuse” said Gopal jovially.

There were variety of food at the lunch menu and they sat down to eat, the Maharaja jokingly asked, “So Gopal, what shall we eat first?”

“Maharaja, you should eat the fried eggplant first. After that everything will taste wonderful and tasty.” Gopal replied laughing at his own joke. The Maharaja also joined in the joke and they enjoyed the well cooked food.

FOUR: MAHARAJA’S AUNT

Maharaja Krishna Chandra had a aunt who was very rich and without encumbrances. She also happened to be the greatest miser in whole of Krishna Nagar. It was considered to be great achievement if one could even manage a nickel from her. She was against all kinds of wasteful expenses and shunned extravagance. She ate only vegetarian foods and wore simple cotton clothes. The only exception was the maid who looked after her. Even there she only offered her the two square meals in a day; Maharaja paid the salary without informing his aunt.

One day, Maharaja in a relaxed mood said, “Gopal with all your cleverness and quick wits you won’t be able to wriggle out a penny out my aunt.” Gopal not to be out done replied “I can, with your blessings Maharaja. You want to bet?”

Maharaja agreed to a bet of five gold coins if Gopal could even manage a meal out his aunt.

Gopal went home to think about a plan to win the bet. Next day he went to the aunt’s house visibly shaken and tears in his eyes. The aunt knew Gopal and was quite fond of him actually. Looking at the state of Gopal, she inquired “Gopal what happened? You look so disheveled.” Gopal with tears in his eyes replied, “You know Janak Pandit, the fortune teller?” “Oh yes very much. His predictions always come true” replied aunt.

“Well he had a look at my stars yesterday and predicted that I have only six months to live” Gopal cried aloud. He continued, “Now all I want is to have Prasad from you, before I die. I am sure that you will not refuse a dying man his last wishes.”

Aunt was visibly shaken but composed herself and said “That’s okay, but you know I only have very simple vegetarian food and you may not like that.” “Aunt, I just want the Prasad of yours whether it is simple vegetarian does not matter” replied Gopal. “Okay then you come back tomorrow afternoon the meal” aunt said little reluctantly.

Next day Gopal got ready to go to aunt’s house and hid a few shrimps in his pocket. He reached the house of aunt and announced himself. The aunt welcomed him and offered him food but Gopal refused and said “I want your Prasad aunt. You must eat first and leave a small portion of everything in the plate and I will have that only.” The aunt did not like the idea but agreed knowing that it was Gopal’s last wish. She started eating a little of everything and left the rest for Gopal to eat. Then she offered the food to Gopal. Meanwhile Gopal had taken out the shrimps from his pocket and when aunt was looking, mixed the shrimps in the yogurt. Then he started eating the food with great relish. After sometime, the aunt asked, “Gopal, how do you like the simple food? You are quite habitual to the rich food of the palace.”

“All the dishes are excellent, especially the yogurt with shrimps is wonderful” replied Gopal nonchalantly. Aunt was horrified. She said “What shrimp? I am a strict vegetarian and you know I don’t eat any fish, meat etc.”

“Yes I know and that’s why I was little surprised to find the shrimps in the yogurt. But it is really very tasty” replied Gopal.

The aunt was aghast now and scared that Gopal being a trumpeter will announce this to the whole world and bring shame to her. She stammered, “Go-go-Gopal, you are a nice person and I am sure you will not tell this to anyone and bring shame to this old aunt of yours!”

“In ordinary times I would not but now that I am going to die soon, I will not lie and be sinner. If the Maharaja asks me what I had for lunch, I will have to tell him about the shrimps in yogurt” Gopal said innocently. Then he added, “But of course, you can buy my words with money. If you pay me five gold coins, I will keep mum about this dish.”

Now the aunt was in a fix, five gold coins is a large amount but at the same time, if she did not pay and Gopal speaks out, it would be a big face loss. But all the same she bargained with Gopal, “Five gold coins is too much, I can give you three and you keep your mouth shut.”

Gopal realized that even three gold coins is a good value to extract from the miserly lady and agreed, albeit showing a little resistance “Oh aunt, you want me to sin for you in my last days and still bargaining for mere two gold coins. What will my family do after I am gone? I am sure you will take care of my family in my absence.”

Then he took the three gold coins left for the palace of Maharaja Krishna Chandra to show him the gold coins and tell the whole story.

Maharaja was aware of what transpired at his aunts’ house as he had kept a vigil there to know first hand how Gopal was faring in his mission. As soon as Gopal reached the court, Maharaja congratulated Gopal and offered him the five gold coins. Gopal was very happy as in a single day he had managed to earn eight gold coins and he decided to distribute a part of this to the poor of the town.

FIVE: THE UNLUCKY FACE

Once the Maharaja was celebrating the birth of his grandson and the party went well into the night. As a result, Gopal could not go back home and had to spent the night at the guest house of the palace.

In the morning, the Maharaja went for a walk through the garden and reached the guest house where most people were still sleeping after a late night. Gopal who was also there, got up first and saw the Maharaja. “Good Morning sir” he said. The Maharaja acknowledging the same asked him if he had a good sleep and thereafter went on his way.

A little later, the royal barber came to give Maharaja his daily shave. While shaving, the barber accidentally nicked the cheek of the Maharaja and the blood came out from the cut. The barber got scared that the Maharaja will now punish him severely. But generally the barbers are a clever clan and this one was no exception.

Composing himself the barber said “Maharaja, I have been shaving you for years and never before had caused any injury to your highness. I feel you must have seen some unlucky face this morning which is responsible for this mishap.”

The Maharaja felt what the barber said made sense and he thought whom he had seen early in the morning. He realized it was Gopal Bhand and he called him at once.

“Gopal, you are the unlucky one and I sentence you to death” announced the Maharaja. Gopal remained calm and answered “Your highness that is it. When you saw my face first in the morning you got a nick in your cheek but I also saw your face first thing this morning and I got the death sentence! Tell me whose face is more unlucky?”

The Maharaja realized his folly and immediately withdrew the order and rewarded Gopal for his wits.

SIX: THE FLEA

Once Gopal was going to a distant town and passing through a village when he felt hungry and thirsty. He thought of buying some food from the food stall and then realized that he was not carrying any money on him. He did not know anyone in the village so getting a loan from somebody was not possible. Dejected he kept walking. Then he came across a food stall where a kid was manning the stall and there was freshly made sweets on display. Looking at them, Gopal’s hunger increased many fold and he asked the kid “Where is your father?”

“He is inside having his food” replied the kid.

“My name is flea. Tell him that the flea had come and eating the sweets” said Gopal picking up the tray full of sweets. As he started to eat, the kid shouted “Father the flea has come and eating away the sweets.” The father without bother said from inside the house, “Let it be, he comes everyday.”

Gopal satisfied left the stall went on his way. After sometime, the father came out and was horrified to find the empty tray of sweets. He cried “Who has eaten away all my sweets?” The kid said “I told you the flea, really a man was eating the sweets and you said its okay as he is your regular customer.”

The father realized somebody has made a fool of him and thought who it could be.

The following day Gopal was again passing through the same area and stopped by the food. He told the kid “Tell your father that same flea that came yesterday had come again today.” The kid went inside to tell his father who this time rushed out to catch the thief.

“Who are you and why did you rob a poor man like me?” asked the father. “Well, my name is Gopal Bhand and yesterday when I was passing this way, I was very hungry and not carrying any money. So I had to use the ploy to fool you. I am sorry to have caused inconvenience to you. Here, please keep this money for the sweets.” Gopal offered him the money.

“Sir, I have heard so much about you and I am pleased that you have come to my stall. It is an honor to serve you. I cannot take the money from you” replied the shop owner.

Gopal with much persuasion made the shop owner accept the money as did not like to have free food at the expense of poor villagers.

SEVEN: THE OTHER JESTER

Maharaja Krishna Chandra liked to honor the talented people and many such persons were given a place of honor in his court. Once another Jester by the name Hasiram came to his court and displayed his talents. The Maharaja was pleased by his talent and immediately appointed him his court jester. Now there was another jester besides Gopal.

Hasiram, from the very beginning started entertaining the courtiers with his quick wit and soon became very popular with everybody around. It seemed that he was always one-upping on Gopal and people thought Gopal would be jealous of this new person. However, Gopal was nonchalant about the whole issue and often said “One will get what is due to him.”

One day Maharaja called Gopal aside and said “I find that your quick wits are fading. You seemed to have given up. Hasiram is always one-upping on you. I think you should pull-up your socks and show everybody that you are more talented in matter of wits.”

“I will definitely show you, who the boss is, Maharaja” replied Gopal. Then he thought of the means to achieve the task.

Now, Hasiram’s home was some ten miles away from Krishna Nagar where his old mother used to stay alone. Gopal found out that Hasiram was planning to visit his mother the next day. He had ordered sweets from the sweetmeat shop and two big fish from the fishmonger to take back home.

Next day before anyone could know, Gopal started off and reached the home of Hasiram. His mother knew Gopal and liked him as her son. She said “Oh Gopal, what brings you here, this early morning?”

“I was passing by and heard that you are not keeping well, therefore came to visit you” replied Gopal innocently.

“Its true, I was not well, but in old age such problems keep recurring. I know my time is getting over and soon I may die. But since you have come have lunch with me today” the old woman said.

“No mother, some other day perhaps. I have some urgent work and need to rush to Krishna Nagar and reach there before noon” replied Gopal with urgency in his voice.

The old woman would have none of it and forced Gopal to have some snacks before he left for Krishna Nagar.

Half way on the way back, he met Hasiram quite happy and contended carrying a big container full of sweets and two big fishes. Hasiram said “Brother, where have you been?”

Sounding sad, Gopal replied, “I’ve gone to meet a relation of mine but en route went to your home as well.” Then showing some urgency said “Brother I suggest you rush to your home immediately”

“Why, what happened at my home” asked Hasiram worriedly. “Nothing much, but still you should go fast” replied Gopal. “No-no, you must tell me what the matter is” Hasiram insisted.

Gopal, almost at the brink of crying said “One has to go at some point of time in life, but you know very well that mother is the biggest support to us all. Even if she is old, she still is our mother.”

“What, my mother is no more. She has left for the heaven!” Hasiram cried out loudly. Gopal said something as if to console him but Hasiram was inconsolable. He handed over the sweets and the two big fishes to Gopal and said “I have no use for these now, you take them home and enjoy with your family.” Then he rushed to his home, crying all the way.

On reaching home, he found his mother quite healthy and immediately realized that Gopal had made a fool of him. In fact, Gopal never said his mother passed away but he only imagined things in his anxiety and he saluted Gopal for his wits.

Meanwhile, Maharaja had a hearty laugh when he got to know what happened with Hasiram. He realized that Hasiram was no match to Gopal in matter of wits.

EIGHT: THE ROYAL DOCTOR

There was a vacancy for the position of Royal Doctor at the court of Maharaja Krishna Chandra. The announcement to this regard was made across the kingdom and also at the neighboring states.

Soon, large number of applicants reached the palace and spoke of their experience and expertise in the field of medicine. It became quite impossible to shortlist the candidates, let alone choose one among them. The Maharaja called Gopal and said “I think only you can choose the right person among all these candidates. I am entrusting you the task of choosing the Royal Doctor.”

“Its easy Maharaja, you will soon get your man” replied Gopal confidently.

Then he turned towards the candidates and said “You all have given the accounts of your achievements which all of us here at the court have heard and understood. But the position of Royal Doctor is quite different and important too. It can only go to the person who is responsible for the death of at least one thousand patients that he had attended to in his professional life so far.”

One of the candidate said “Out of ten thousand patients that I have treated, two thousand have died and I am responsible for that.”

The second candidate said “Of the thirty odd thousand patient that came to me for treatment, four thousand have lost their life.”

“Half of my two thousand patients are no longer in this world” said another candidate.

So, one after another, everyone started saying how many persons they have killed in their professional life.

There was, however, one exception. One candidate, who was sitting quietly all this while got up and started leave the court. Gopal caught the site and said “Doctor, you are leaving without telling us your achievements. Don’t you aspire to be the Royal Doctor?”

“I would very much like to be the Royal Doctor otherwise I would not have come this far from home, but the conditions are too steep. I have seen about forty thousand patients so far in my life but only five have died. I do not think I can achieve the figure of one thousand even if I tried the rest of my life. That is why I am leaving now” said the man dejectedly.

Gopal turned towards the Maharaja and said “Highness this man is fit to become the Royal Doctor.” Maharaja happily agreed to the suggestion and appointed him.

NINE: SWEET TOOTH

One day Gopal Bhand along with his uncle Nilesh was going to the town of Vishnupur on the opposite banks of Ganges. They were traveling in a typical boat of Bengal where in the middle of the boat is a canopy where the boatman used to keep their belongings. In the boat, besides Gopal his uncle and the boatman, there were two other persons traveling to another town further to Vishnupur.

One of the gentlemen was carrying a large container of sweets and told his companion “The prices of sweets at the market have sky-rocketed but I couldn’t resist the temptation of picking up these sweets from Felu the sweet maker. He is quite famous around here for the variety as well as the quality of his sweets.”

“True” said his companion and added “Our destination quite far, how long you will hold this container? Why don’t you keep it inside the canopy? We will take it when we disembark.”

The man liked the idea and kept the container safely inside the canopy. Gopal and his uncle had heard the gentlemen but did not say anything. They seemed to enjoy the cool breeze of the Ganges. After sometime, Gopal suddenly started shivering and told his uncle “I think I have fever and feeling cold.” Nilesh touching his forehead said “Oh yes you have quite high temperature. Don’t stay out. I suggest you go and rest inside the canopy. I will call you when we reach Vishnupur.”

The other two gentlemen on the boat too suggested that he go inside the canopy to rest and said “We have to go further than Vishnupur, we will let you know when the boat reaches there.”

Reluctantly, Gopal went inside the canopy to rest. After an hour or so the boat reached the shores of Vishnupur and uncle Nilesh called out Gopal. Together they disembarked and the boat went its way to the next destination.

Getting down, Gopal said “I am already feeling fine. The fever is gone and I no longer feel the shivering.”

“Why not, after all the sweets of Felu are supposed to do wonders!” replied Nilesh. “Yes uncle, I could not resist myself when I heard the gentleman” said Gopal sheepishly. “I hope you have saved some for me too” said Nilesh greedily.

Gopal took out some of the sweets from his pocket and offered them to his uncle. Together they enjoyed the sweets of Felu but felt sorry for the poor man on the boat who had paid for the sweets.

TEN: WHAT LIES BENEATH THE GROUND

Adjacent to Krishna Nagar was the town of Begampur which was under the rule of the Nawab Mirzaffar. The Nawab was eccentric and whimsical. One day, he called his courtiers and said “I wonder what is there under the ground. Is there another kingdom below the earth surface?” The courtiers had no ready answer for this query of the Nawab. After much deliberation they said “Jahanpanah, only experts in astrology can tell us what is there beneath the ground.”

The Nawab liked the idea and announced “If any one can tell me what is there beneath the ground, he will be awarded with hundred gold coins and if he fails then he will spend the rest of his life in the dungeons”

One hundred gold coins were very lucrative reward and many a Pundit went to Begampur to try their luck. Even Maharaja sent a group of royal pundits to try and win the reward. But none of them could satisfy the Nawab with an answer to his query and were thrown in the dungeons.

Maharaja, when he heard the fate of his court pundits and others felt sorry and thought of means and ways to free them. He could not think of any means to end their misery and became very depressed.

Gopal who was visiting his grandmother at Vishnupur returned to Krishna Nagar to find the whole town in a state of mourning. He reached the court and was even more surprised to see similar situation there too. He asked the Maharaja “What is wrong, your highness?” The Maharaja narrated the events that took place while he was away to Vishnupur. “Poor innocent pundits are rotting in the dungeons and unable to do anything for them” the Maharaja said in despair.

“Not to worry Maharaja, I will go to Begampur and not only satisfy the Nawab but will also ensure that all the pundits are set free” said Gopal cheering the Maharaja. “Do you know astrology? How you will be able to tell what is beneath the ground?” enquired Maharaja apprehensively. “Have trust in me, I will not let you down” said Gopal and left the palace to plan for coup.

Gopal went straight to his home and took a piece of wooden block and wrapped it in layer of silk cloth of different shades. Then he himself dressed up in a silk suit and a jazzy head gear with silk shawl to go with it. He now looked like a pundit and started off for Begampur. He also took with him thick books with red cloth covers.

He reached the courts of the Nawab and bowing to him said “Sir, I have heard your announcement and wish to satisfy your highness.”

The Nawab was impressed with Gopal’s attire and appearance and felt confident that this person can actually tell him what is there beneath the ground. He said “Your personality tells me that you are a learned pundit and can give us the right answers to our query. But since you have come from far and tired, please have some food and rest a while” said the Nawab sounding pleased.

When the court resumed after lunch, Gopal sat down at the appointed seat and took out his thick books and the silk wrapped wooden block. He made gestures as if he was calculating some very complicated mathematical problems. After some time he said something in Sanskrit which no body could make any meaning. The Nawab asked “Please explain what does this mean, Pundit Ji?”

Gopal smiled and said “Your highness, my calculations say that no Hindu pundit can tell you what is beneath the ground.”

“Then who can tell me?” asked the Nawab. “Your highness, my calculations do tell me who can satisfy your query” replied Gopal humbly. After some more calculations, Gopal said “Sir, only Muslims and Christians are buried whereas the Hindus are cremated, therefore only a Christian priest or a Muslim clergy can tell you what lies beneath the ground. So please call either of them to get your answer.”

Nawab was satisfied with Gopal’s argument and rewarded him with 50 gold coins, half the prize money and also released all the pundits that were sent to the dungeon. He also sent for the Muslim clergies to tell him what lies beneath the ground.

Upon reaching the Krishna Nagar, Gopal narrated the events that took place at the Nawab’s court to Maharaja amidst the cheering of the courtiers. The Maharaja gave fifty more gold coins to Gopal as a reward asked him “What are you hiding inside that colorful silk cloth?”

“Oh, this is what saved me and the pundits from the clutches of the Nawab” Gopal said laughingly and unwrapped the wooden block. Everybody laughed out and praised the wits of Gopal.

ELEVEN: EXILE FROM KRISHNA NAGAR

Gopal as a jester was at times little irritating as he would say whatever came to his mind without realizing or bothering about the surroundings and situations. This was the complaint of most of the courtiers but they could not say anything as Gopal was the most favored person of the Maharaja.

However, One day Maharaja himself got very annoyed with Gopal for his certain comments. He called his royal guards and said “This fellow has become very arrogant and disrespectful, throw him out of my palace and see to it that he is not allowed inside, ever again.”

“You don’t have to throw me out, I am going away on my own. I will also leave the country too within next three days” said Gopal indignantly.

Gopal left the palace and on his way back home told everyone that he is leaving the country for good. He reached home and told his wife “Pack-up everything; we will be leaving this country for ever.”

“Why on earth will we be leaving this nice and peaceful place?” pleaded his wife. “The world is a big place and surely we can find the patronage of some other kind king. The Maharaja does not seem to care about me anymore” said Gopal. His wife started crying and all the neighbors also gathered around and pleaded with Gopal to reconsider his decision. Gopal was determined and told everyone “Since I have lost the job at the palace, I have no other means to make a living. I have to go to another kingdom to search for job and living.” He urged his wife to start packing immediately.

The news of Gopal leaving the country reached the Maharaja and he felt sorry for him. Actually the Maharaja was very fond of Gopal and that day out irritation had exiled him from the palace. Now, he ordered his men to go and get Gopal immediately.

Upon getting the message of Maharaja, Gopal went to the palace and presented himself to the Maharaja. “Are you seriously leaving the country?” inquired the Maharaja. “Yes Sir” replied Gopal without looking up.

“But I had only exiled you from the palace and not from the country” said the Maharaja perplexed.

“That’s true Maharaja, you never exiled me from the country but only from the palace. However, I earn my living by entertaining you and others at this court and if I am not allowed here, how can I make my ends meet?” replied Gopal.

“Tell me Gopal, what do I do? I cannot let you go neither I can ignore my ministers who are angry with your behavior. Tell me Gopal how do I treat you” said the Maharaja with anguish.

“This is love, Maharaja. You are in love with me and that is the reason of your anguish” said Gopal with a smile.

This comment from Gopal broke the ice and all the courtiers clapped and cheered Gopal. They urged Maharaja to pardon Gopal and reappoint him as the Court Jester once again.

Maharaja said “There is no question of reappointment as he was never thrown out. He had merely left the palace as he does everyday to go home. Gopal is very much part of my court and shall remain so as long as he lives.”

Then Maharaja gave some money to Gopal and said “You are not to leave this country without my permission. Now go home, your wife must be getting worried.”

Gopal pocketed the money and left for home happy and at peace.

TWELVE: MAHARAJA’S DREAM

Once with the idea of embarrassing Gopal, the Maharaja announced in the court ‘Last night I had a very weird dream.”

“Tell us about your dream, Maharaja” Gopal asked eagerly. “Let it be. You may not appreciate, Gopal” replied Maharaja smiling at his own joke.

Gopal was now insistent and urged the Maharaja to narrate his dream. As if with great reluctance, the Maharaja said “Okay since you are insisting, but remember, it is just a dream.”

Maharaja continued “Last night I saw that you and I have reached a far away country. It was very dark there and very creepy; there were two ponds, one was filthy and the other was filled with milk. Then in the darkness, you slipped and fell into the filthy pond. You tried get out but more you tried, you got more entangled in the thick filthy mud. And then I also slipped but fell into the pond filled with milk. After some effort, I got out of the milk pond and was trying to help you out from the filthy pond, when I woke up.”

Everyone present at the court looked at Gopal and started teasing him “So Gopal you ate the filth!”

Gopal did not react to the teasing and kept quite. After sometime, he said “Maharaja, what a coincidence! I also happened to see something similar in my dream last night. But let it be, it’s not very welcoming for you.”

“So you also saw that you are swimming in a filthy pond” Maharaja asked jokingly. “Yes, your highness, there is no point denying the truth. You couldn’t see the end as you woke up but I saw till the end” replied Gopal.

“What did you see Gopal” asked the Maharaja. “It is better, if you don’t hear the end bit. It won’t do well to your reputation” Gopal said quietly.

Now the Maharaja was eager to know what happened at the end and insisted, “You must tell me what happened at the end. It doesn’t matter how I may feel.”

“Okay” Gopal said reluctantly and continued “After sometime, I also came out from the filthy pond. We were wet, I with filthy water and you with butter milk. We both wanted to wash ourselves clean before we reached Krishna Nagar, but there was no sign of any clean water around. We searched for sometime and then you suggested that we clean us by licking each other. Maharaja, it was at your suggestion that I started licking the butter milk from your body and you the filth from my body.”

The courtiers went wild with laughter as soon as Gopal had narrated his dream. But the Maharaja went pale and kept quite. He realized that Gopal had an upper hand using the joke that he had created to embarrass Gopal. He had started it and now he can’t say anything to Gopal. Maharaja vowed never again to embarrass Gopal publicly.

 

 

Tit for Tat

It was a wonderful summer evening and all the animals in the jungle forgot about their differences and were enjoying the lavish annual summer party. There were sumptuous meals to savor and choicest beverages to drink.

All the animals seem to enjoy this once in a year gala party. The bonhomie was apparent as one could see the wolf dancing with the deer forgetting that they are otherwise sworn enemies.

All this while the stork was enamored by the handsome fox that seemed to enjoy his meal and drink merrily from the pitcher. The fox was indeed very smart with his tanned fur which glowed in the clear moonlight. The stork did her best to attract the attention of the fox and finally managed a seat next to the fox.

They got into a conversation and soon were dancing together. They danced as if they were seasoned dancers and had several dances together before the evening nearly ended.

The fox was very pleased and asked the stork, “Why don’t you join me for dinner next week?” The stork was more than eager and said “Sure, I will come next Saturday.”

The following Saturday the stork spent much of the day cleaning her feathers one by one and streaking them with her beak to make them shine and reached the fox’s house at the appointed time.

The fox greeted the stork, “Oh Ms. Stork, you are looking wonderful today and your feathers are shining like the moonlight.” “Thank you”, the stork said blushing at the complement.

The fox played the music and they again had dance for sometime. After a while the fox excused himself to set the dinner table. A very appetizing smell came from the kitchen and the stork felt hungry. Soon the fox came with two large plates filled with soup and placed one in front of the stork and said “Enjoy the soup.”

The stork tried hard to drink the soup from the plate which was shallow but could manage only a few drops. She started to get exasperated but did not show her displeasure out of courtesy and hoped that the handsome fox will notice the problem and help her.

Meanwhile the fox was greedily slurping his soup noisily and was oblivious to the discomfiture of the stork. He looked up only when he had finished the last drop of the soup from his plate. Looking at the almost untouched plate of the stork he said, “Aha, you really have a very small appetite or perhaps the taste did not suit you, Ms. Stork!”

Saying this he pulled the plate of the stork and gulped down her portion of the soup too.

The stork was very upset at this rude behavior of the fox but did not show her anger. She said, “I would very much like to reciprocate this lovely evening that we spent together. Why don’t you come over to my place next week?” The fox readily agreed to the proposal.

On the appointed date the fox got ready and reached the house of the stork well ahead of the time. He sniffed the air and was delighted to smell the delicious aroma that filled the air around. He knocked on the door and was warmly welcomed by the stork who herself was looking very bright.

After chatting for a while, the stork went to kitchen to get the dinner. She came back with two flagons filled with delicious stew and placed them on the table. “Bon appetite” she said and concentrated on her stew. The fox looked at the flagon and thought ways to drink the stew. He thought of asking for a plate but the stork was engrossed in her meal and paid little attention to the fox. Exasperated, the fox tried to drink from the flagon but got his nose stuck inside, instead.

The stork finished her stew and looked up. “What, you don’t like the stew, Mr. Fox? No problem, I will finish it off.” Saying this stork picked up the flagon and started drinking the stew that was given to the fox.

The fox was very angry and said, “Ms. Stork, this was no way to treat your guest. You are not only selfish but rude too. I will never come to your house again.” The stork said, “That be true but you are the one who showed me the way. Remember, when I came to your place, how you had treated me!”

It was tit-for-tat. The fox realized his folly and walked over to stork “Sorry Ms. Stork, it was my mistake. I promise to mend myself and be a good host in future” saying this fox walked away slowly from there.

Friends for Life

Once, long ago in a dense forest lived many animals, some were vegetable eaters and some carnivorous, who preyed on other living creatures. Among them was a fierce Lion who ruled the forest and the tiny mouse who lived in a tree hole along with his family.

The animals in the forest were both hunters and hunted. The bigger animals preyed on the smaller animals and were fearful of being hunted by the humans someday. The lion went about his hunting without any fear from other animals as he was strong and fearless. The Mouse went hunting for food with a fear that some big animal will eat him up one day and therefore was cautious in his whereabouts.

And it so happened one day ….

The mouse, while hunting and gathering food for his family; went very far from his den and was getting late. He was rushing back home when he encountered the big lion sitting on the very track that leads to his home. At first, the mouse thought of going back and trying some other route to his home but it was getting very late. The mouse looked closer at the lion and saw that the lion was sleeping. So the mouse took a chance and got on to the tail of the lion and then on to the back of the lion. The lion was only dozing and the nimble walk of the mouse tickled him all over his body. The lion waited till the mouse reached his head and gave a jerk which made the mouse fall just in front the fearful lion. The mouse started shivering with fear but did not loose his mind. Gathering all his wits he said, “O mighty lion spare me. I have a family to feed and I am but only a tiny creature not worth your feed.”

The lion roared, “But you have disturbed my sleep and I must punish you for that.”

“If you spare my life today, I promise to come in good stead and repay your kindness someday” said the mouse, now little composed.

The lion laughed out loud and said, “What a tiny creature like you can do for me? I am big and fearful. All the other animals are scared of me.” But the lion just had his meal was otherwise quite contended and thought the little mouse won’t satiate him so he said again, “Okay, I will spare you for today but don’t ever come my way again.”

That was enough for the little mouse and he scurried home as fast as he could.

The days went by and the lion had forgotten all about that incident but the mouse remembered and knew that during his lifetime he must return the lion’s kindness.

Though in the forest the lion was the king, there were still dangers from other kind animals called Humans, who hunted not for food but for pleasure and were more cunning than the animals in the forest.

One day a group of hunters (humans) were in the jungle for hunting and they laid a trap with nets on the tree above and a big loaf of meat for the big cat. The lion was hunting on the other side of the forest and did not see the hunters. He roamed freely and reached the spot where the hunters had laid the trap. The lion could see the meat loaf and thought, “Aha, there is ready food and I don’t have to hunt.” He went nearer and as soon as he pawed at the meat loaf, the net above on the tree fell on him. The lion sensing the betrayal, tried to wriggle out of it but more he tried, he got entangled in the net. The lion got exhausted and felt doomed.

It was by chance that the mouse was returning home in the evening when he saw the lion and his predicament. The mouse remembered his promise to the lion and immediately rushed towards him. The lion looked at him and said, “Go away, can’t you see I am doomed, the hunters will come soon and slay me.”

The mouse did not say anything and went on his task of chewing at the rope of the net. The ropes were strong and it took lot of strength for the mouse to chew them. He went on relentlessly and by the dawn could make a sizable gap in the net for the lion to come out.

The lion got out and thanked the mouse for saving his life. The mouse said that he merely returned the kindness once shown by the lion himself.

The Mouse and the Lion became friends for life for they realized that size really does not matter but the attitude and love for all that really is greater.

The Long Race

On a lovely sunny day in the jungle, all the animals were in a playful mood and relaxed. There was the Hare, the Fox, the Squirrel, the Badger, the Hedgehog, the Weasel and the Tortoise. Suddenly, the Hare started saying he is the fastest among all of them. He said, “I can beat you all in any race. Dare to race with me?”

“We are too small and slow to race with you” The Squirrel, the Badger and the Hedgehog said in unison.

“What about you, Fox” asked the Hare. “No, not me, I am too tired from hunting throughout the night.”

There was silence in the group for sometime, then with little hesitantly, the tortoise spoke, “I can give it a try, if you like.”

The Hare had a hearty laugh to him and replied, “Ah ha, so we have enterprising Tortoise accepting my challenge.” The Hare held up a Gold coin that he had picked up from a nearby barn and said, “This Gold Coin will be the prize for the winner. We will race from here to the stone bridge on the other side of this forest.”

The Hare, confident of winning the race, laughed out loud and said, “Old tortoise, you have no chance of winning this race, you are too slow. Why don’t you just relax in this bright sun instead of toiling hard for this gold coin?”

All the other animals joined in the laughter. But the Tortoise was determined and said, “Lets not waste time and start the race. Who will start us up?”

The owl that was sleeping till now fluttered his wings and said, “Tu-whit-to-whoo” signaling the beginning of the long race to the stone bridge on the other side of the forest.

The Hare was rushing as soon as the signal was give and soon he was out sight. Meanwhile the Tortoise just started plodding his heavy body in the thick forest. All the animals were sympathetic to Tortoise and cheered for him, “Bug-up, dear old one. You can surely run faster.” The Badger and the Squirrel sneered, “Its no point actually, the Hare will win hands down.”

The Tortoise, unmindful of this hullabaloo, went on his task and inched towards the stone bridge, still very far ahead. The determination was writ in his face and he kept telling himself, “Slow and steady wins the race.”

The Hare moved on relentlessly through the thick forest over the swamps and bushes and finally reached a clearing and stopped to look behind. He waited to hear any sound of anyone following him, but neither could hear any sound nor could he see any trace of the Tortoise.

The Hare laughed out as he was very pleased, he was winning by the miles. He now walked at a leisurely pace and had reached almost at the end of the forest. He could actually see the stone bridge through the bushes at a distance not very far from where he was.

The Hare liked to boast and felt that reaching the milestone without his friends watching is of no fun and that he must wait for the other animals to catch up with him before he reached the stone bridge, the final point of the long race. They must applaud him, the victor, when he beat the Tortoise.

Thinking this, the Hare sat down under a tree and felt relaxed. Soon, because of the heat the Hare dozed off to sleep.

The Hare woke up to the cool breeze that was now blowing as the sun set and he could hear the animals cheering at a distance. The Hare thought, “So my friends are all here to see me win the race!” He stretched himself and got ready to race the remaining distance.”

The hare could not imagine that all the while that he was sleeping; the Tortoise not only caught up with him but slowly moved ahead of him. Now the Tortoise was only a few a steps from the final point – the stone bridge.

The Hare moved forward cheerfully and suddenly to his horror saw that the Tortoise was much ahead of him and was actually steps away from the stone bridge. Now, even if he ran his fastest, he cannot beat the Tortoise. The other animals are cheering the Tortoise and not him which he foolishly thought to be the case.

The soft-spoken and sensible Tortoise plodded the last few steps to the stone bridge with a satisfying smile on his face. He had won the race. He had beaten the boastful Hare. All the animals gathered there, cheered, “Well done, old Tortoise, you have beaten that show-off Hare handsomely. You are the Winner.”

The Tortoise was tired by now but still he moved to the top of the bridge and waved at the crowd acknowledging their applauding. It was a proud moment for the Tortoise and he was very happy.

The poor embarrassed Hare was now ashamed of himself for he had let go a great opportunity by his arrogance and had let the Tortoise win the race. He walked up slowly to the top of the stone bridge and handing over the Gold Coin to the Tortoise said, “Congratulations, you have won the race. Here is the prize – the Gold Coin for you.”

The Tortoise very much at peace with himself said, “Its okay buddy, you can keep the Gold Coin. I never ran for the Gold Coin. I only wanted to beat you in the race. I had lots of fun today and am very happy. Just remember, the slow and steady wins the long race, always.”

All the animals laughed out loudly. They all had a wonderful fun-filled day.

The Foolish Ghost

Once upon a time there lived a poor barber along with his wife. He was so poor that he could barely afford one full meal in a day. His wife was very upset with their state of poverty and kept nagging him “You couldn’t provide me with two full meals. What kind of husband are you?”

The wife kept badgering the barber day-in day-out saying, “Why did you marry me if you cannot provide with my basic needs? I was well of at my father’s house, at least I could eat two full meals a day and don’t have to work so hard through the day.”

One day, the barber quite fed up with his wife’s nagging, left home early in the morning deciding that he will not come back till he becomes wealthy.

Through-out the day he worked very hard but still could manage only a meager amount and felt very disappointed. He kept wandering about and reached the very end of the village where the forest starts. Dejected and tired he sat down under a tree and said aloud, “What is the point of my living if I cannot gather enough food for my family?”

Now on this tree lived a very fearsome ghost, whose only hobby was to kill hapless human beings and looking at the barber he got excited about the kill he would make.

The ghost climbed down from the tree and standing in front of the barber in a shrieking voice said, “Hey barber, I will now kill you and eat you up. Nobody can save you.”

The barber though very frightened, didn’t loose his common sense and used mind cleverly and said, “What, you will kill me. Wait till I capture you in my bag where I already have one ghost. The poor ghost in my bag needs company.”

Saying this, the barber took out his mirror and held it up in front of the ghost. Meanwhile the ghost, who had never seen a mirror but have heard about the clever clan of barbers got scared and said, “Sir, I will do whatever you ask of me, just do not put me inside your bag.”

The barber not certain what to ask said, “You ghosts rarely keep your words, what is the guarantee that you will not run away?”

The ghost still shivering from fear said, “I promise to abide by your command, master. Just tell me what you want and it will be served right now here itself.”

The barber feeling very confident now said, “First get me a bag full of gold coins. Then make a big store-room (granary) at my house and fill it up with food. Also see to it that the granary is always full, never out of stock. Do this immediately.”

The ghost relieved, immediately arranged a sack full of gold coins and promised to build the granary store by the next day as he needed help from his uncle who was expert in building such things.

The barber, now a rich man started his journey back home. He reached his home in the early hours of the morning and found his wife waiting for him anxiously. Before she could say a word, the barber dropped the gold filled sack in front of her. The wife could not believe her own eyes when she saw the gold and was very happy. She hugged her husband and said, “Oh my, where did you get this treasure?” The barber with a wink replied, “Wait till evening and you will see more.”

Meanwhile the ghost got his uncle along to the barber’s house to build the granary. Uncle ghost has seen many a place and all sorts of people, was skeptical and said, “Nephew, the barber has made a fool of you. There are no ghosts in his bag.” Saying this started to peek inside the house.

The barber could sense that the ghost along with his uncle had come. He immediately held up his mirror in front of the window from where the uncle ghost was trying to look inside and said, “Don’t you try any trick now. If you two do not start the job, I will put you both in my bag along with this ghost.”

The uncle ghost looking at his own image in the mirror got very scared and screamed, “Nephew, lets get on with work, this barber is very clever and dangerous. He already has captured a poor ghost.”

Uncle and nephew got down to the task immediately and working throughout the day, not only build the granary filled it up with all kinds of food stock. The ghost-duo also promised to fill-up the granary with food every week.

The barber, now a wealthy villager, his wife contended with her fortune along with their children never had to think of the food and lived happily ever after.

My Father’s Wedding – 2

This is the story of Sunny’s father.

When I joined the school in Jamalpur, one of the first guys I befriended was Sunny. He was a bit unusual from the others; he had a thick beard and mustache, very unlike the other students of class nine. So I called him Uncle Sunny and in reply he landed a uppercut precisely on my nose sending me to the floor five feet away, senseless.

I regained consciousness after a good half hour and saw Sunny sprinkling water on me to bring me back to my senses. The moment I opened my eyes he started apologizing profusely. Thereafter we became very good friends.

One day Sunny confessed that he really likes a girl called Ruksana and if I could help him write a romantic love letter to Ruksana. I asked Sunny to get nice writing paper, the ones that girls usually liked and come over to my uncle’s home in the evening. When Sunny came over to my uncle’s home, my cousin Rubina called me aside and asked, “Where did you find this sample piece?” I said, “What do you mean? He is my classmate and good friend.”

“He was in the same class with my elder brother, then with me and now he is in your class.” Rubina said in a matter of fact manner.

I was shocked because my cousin brother was in the final years of college and Rubina in her first year of college. Any ways, I did not tell Sunny or any of my other friends about my new found knowledge about Sunny. In fact our friendship became stronger over the months in school. However, I noticed that he never invited me or any of his classmates to his home.

Many of my classmates used call him Bastard’s Son behind his back. I did not like it and one day confronted Saiful, “Why do you people call him Bastard’s Son?”

“His father looks like a drunkard, chews tobacco all the time and drinks local wines in the evening. He can always be found in the red light area of the town. Not only that, he is a habitual molester of women” replied Saiful in disgust.

“Doesn’t anybody complain against him?” I asked.

Saiful spat out before answering, “Those who are sitting in judges’ bench are all scoundrels and bribe takers. Every time the guy was caught and brought to the court, he would bribe them and the matter is dusted under the carpet.”

“What about Sunny’s mother? How is she tolerating all these nonsense?” I asked again.

“Sunny doesn’t have a mother. She passed away many years ago” replied Saiful.

Now, I could understand why Sunny avoided calling his friends over to his home.

One day we got the news that Sunny’s father has got into trouble once more. This time he had misbehaved with Magistrate’s wife and his men have tied him up with a tree in their bunglow lawn. Deep inside me, I was happy that the bribe taking magistrate has become the victim now but knew that the old man needs to be rescued too. So, went to the magistrate’s home to plead with him and after much plodding he agreed to let him go against transfer of ten acres of land in his name.

Next day, I found Sunny sitting in the school lawns under the mango tree, all alone. He seemed depressed for some reason. I asked him, “What happened, what’s bothering you?”

“I am worried about the old bastard” replied Sunny.

“Who is the old bastard?” I wanted him to clarify.

“Who else but my father” replied an agitated Sunny.

“You too call him a bastard?” I asked in shock.

“I only have given him that title” shouted Sunny.

“Why don’t you get him married again?” I asked him. Sunny seemed to like the idea and calmed down.

The following day after school, I along with Sunny and Saiful presented our proposal to Sunny’s father. The old bastard seemed to like the idea and blushed like a teenager.

After much searching around, we found a woman marriage counselor who agreed to search for a suitable bride for the old bastard in exchange of five hundred rupees as her fees. She confirmed the following Friday for meeting with the would-be bride and her family.

The household seemed well-to-do but the bride to be was just 15 years old and had 7 more siblings, perhaps, all a year younger to the previous ones. It seemed that man of the house has no other job but procreation as per God’s will and in the process the health of the mother has become miserable. The four of us along with the marriage counselor sat on one side of the room while the bride-to-be all decked up sat on the other side along with her mother and siblings. The marriage counselor introduced me and Saiful as groom’s nephew but kept quiet about Sunny. She actually stopped Sunny when he started to say something and instead asked his father, if he liked the girl.

The shy smile of the bastard confirmed that he liked the girl. The bride’s family too was willing for the match. While paying the bride’s money, Sunny said to the bride “You are going to be my mother, please don’t treat me as a stepson and consider me as your own son.”

The bride’s mother flared up hearing that and said “What do you mean by stepson? Is this guy your father? We were not told that he has a grown up son?” then she attacked the marriage counselor. We came out running and did not stop till we reached the safety of Sunny’s home.

We were indomitable in our endeavor to find a bride for the bastard and soon found another marriage counselor. This time we gave her clear instructions that she should not hide the fact that the bastard has a grown up son. Two days later the counselor got back with a proposal and we decided to check it out.

Once again, the four of us went to see the bride-to-be along with the marriage counselor. We were seated in the long verandah of the house, the bride-to-be sat opposite to us with her parents on either side. The bride’s father looked handsome with toned up body that was all muscle while the mother though a little plump, still exuded beauty.

“Do you like the girl, Abba? Sunny asked his father.

“I liked the one standing by the little girl” replied Sunny’s father with a shy smile.

Everyone around was shocked that the bastard liked the mother of the bride. “Let’s get out of here before anything goes wrong.” I told Sunny. But before we could do anything, the bastard had caught hold of the woman’s hand and pleading her to marry him. We tried pulling him away but the husband of the woman started beating him up and as the commotion reached the neighbors,they too joined in the beating, even we were not spared and got beaten up badly.

Somehow in tattered clothes and injured body, we reached Sunny’s home. Sunny was most affected and warned his father “If you do not get married in one week, I will never set foot in this house.” Saying this he came out with me to my uncle’s home.

Though the guy was a confirmed bastard in his behavior, he really loved his son, so this time, he on his own found a marriage counselor and actually got married within the week. He sent Saiful to give the good news to Sunny and me and asked us to join him.

Sunny and I were sitting in my room with some books on poetry to copy the lines for the love letter to Ruksana when Saiful burst into the room and said excitedly, “Sunny, I have two surprises for you.”

Sunny and I asked in unison, “What?”

“First one is that your father has got married finally.” Saiful said with a mystic smile on his face.

Sunny and I jumped up in joy and asked “What’s the second one?”

“You need to go to your home to see the second surprise.” Saiful started laughing as he said this.

We hurried towards Sunny’s home without wasting further time. We found the couple in the kitchen where Sunny’s new mother was making Rice Pudding and his father was standing next her chewing betel leaf with tobacco. Seeing us he said, “Darling, serve up the pudding, your son and his friends have come.”

Sunny’s new mother turned towards us and immediately Sunny blurted out, “Ruksana, it is you!”

“I am your mother now, don’t call me by name. You can call me Ammu.” Ruksana reprimanded her son.

Suiful started laughing aloud and said, “How did you like the Second Surprise?”

Abandoned

Abandoned I am

By all

Since the time I awakened

I have been roaming the earth

Free of bondage, in thousands of nicknames

Wherever I go, I pick a new name

And abandon the old one

Thereby, I never age

I remain ever youthful

I have danced in the rains

I have crawled in the desert heat

I have swam the seas

To reach the summit of the highest peak

I have seen the bondage of the old man on the street

And the mother to the kitchen

Caring for the children who are but scoundrels

I have loved but never loved

Shunned from the lights of joy

Exiled to aimless roaming

In futile search of a home

That exist not for the abandoned me…

My Father’s Wedding – 1

This is the story of my friend’s father.

I had just got promoted to Class 9 after spending two years in the previous class. However, within the first week of the first month of school reopening, the teachers realized I was not going to make the next grade with other students. Therefore, mid-session I was handed my transfer certificate and unceremoniously thrown out. It was difficult to get admission in any school in Dhaka at this time and I was totally at loss about my next move.

My Uncle asked me to join him at Jamalpur where he was a well known political figure and headed the board of few schools. I got admission in one of the schools where he was a director and started the new session. When you join mid-session, it raises lot of curiosity among the existing students but within a week they make you their friends. So, in next 10 days, I made some good friends – Saiful, Shanu, Lakhin, Jahangir, Munni, Aarifa, Dancing Shiela, Wrestler Shiela and many more.

The story is about Saiful’s father. Saiful was the first boy of the class but he was not into studies 24×7 like most other first boys. Therefore, soon we became very close friends. Almost at the end of class 9, I got to know that Saiful’s father had married twice and Saiful and his two sisters are born of the first marriage. The second marriage did not yield any child. His father was rich in the sense that he own lots of landed property. He wanted to keep Saiful with him as the second marriage proved to be childless but Saiful’s mother did not agree and took him away to ensure he goes to a school and become educated.

Though, it was quite tragic situation but we used make fun of it and teased Saiful, “Why don’t you get your father married again? At least we will get treated to a feast of Biriyani and other delicacies.” He would get upset and not speak to us for rest of the day.

After my Senior School Certificate (SSC) exams, I came back to Dhaka to join college. I used to meet all my Jamalpur friends whenever I visited my Uncle’s home. When other students were busy getting special coaching for university admission, I was loafing around knowing well that I won’t be getting admission in the university and even my uncle cannot help this time around. So the call from Saiful was blissful. He said. “Come to Jamalpur immediately, my father is getting married next week. You always wanted to have feast at my father’s wedding, there will be lots there! Incidentally, the girl is no other than our classmate Shiela.”

I was shocked but asked him “Which one, Dancing or Wrestler?”

“Dancing Shiela” replied Saiful.

Must tell you here that there were two Shielas in our class, one had a built like a wrestler hence referred as Wrestler Shiela while the other was a good dancer, hence Dancing Shiela. We used watch her dance in the girl’s common room through the keyhole.

Anyways, next day I left for my Uncle’s home in Jamalpur. On the day of the wedding, dressed up in our finest clothes we accompanied the groom for bride’s home. “You father is so old, his one leg is already in the grave! The bulb may fuse any day.” I told Saiful under my breath.  “The old man is beyond reasoning.” Saiful replied as a matter of fact.

We were soon lost in the midst of all good looking dames who had a chance to flirt with the boys in abandon and I forgot all about Saiful’s father. The food was excellent starting with pulao, bhuna beef, mutton, egg, chicken, sweet curd, sweets and ice cream. Everyone was enjoying except Dancing Shiela who perhaps was thinking that instead of joining university, she is being married off to a old man for money. And the groom happens to be the father of her classmate, what an irony!

In such a situation, nobody cares about what the bride is thinking or what is going through her mind. I too let the thought pass me and helped the bride get into the palanquin and she was brought her husband’s home. There was another reception next day and after spending a week in Jamalpur I came back to Dhaka.

On the fourth day after I came back to Dhaka, Saiful called up. I answered the call with a joke, “Where has your father taken his bride for honeymoon?”

Saiful’s voice was sad as he said, “He is yet to go, but will go 6 feet under the ground.”

“What are you saying?” I cried.

“He passed away an hour ago. The burial will be before sunset, see if you can make it in time.” said Saiful.

I immediately left for Jamalpur.

After the burial, I stayed over at Jamalpur, giving moral support to my dear friend Saiful.

Three days after the death of Saiful’s father, the Panchayat called a meeting at Saiful’s home to discuss and help in property division. One of the leader of the group took aside Saiful and in a conspiratorial voice told, “If you give me acre of land, I will ensure you get the entire property.” Saiful did not made any comment.

The meeting started and the members of the Panchayat started voicing their opinion in contradiction to each other. Then Saiful said, “Please stop everyone and listen to me. The matter is our family concern, if we can resolve it ourselves, do you guys any problem?”

The Panchayat said in unison “No, not at all.”

Then Saiful turned towards her first step mother (his father’s second wife) and said, “I know you don’t like me at all, mother and though you have not given me birth, still I am your son only. Moreover you are getting old so I and my sisters would like to take care of you, please stay with us. What will you do with this material wealth, we are your real wealth, mother.” The impact was immediate as his step mother hugged him and said, “You are right my son, I don’t want any of this wealth.”

I thought Saiful had played a masterstroke by emotionally blackmailing his step mother. He has effectively reduced the number of claimant to just two parties.

Saiful then turned towards Dancing Shiela, his second step mother and said, “Mother, you know me very well, we have studied together. My father’s death has affected you the most; whatever I say or do it will be insufficient. However, the property will be divided into two parts, one will be yours and the other will be ours. But you cannot go back to your parent’s home with all that property because your parents might marry you off again with some other old haggard man for money. So, I would request to you is stay here and continue with your studies and when it is time, we will find the right groom for you.”

Dancing Shiela’s parents had objection but she agreed immediately to Saiful’s proposal. Probably she trusted Saiful more than her own parents who had practically sold her off to the old man.

Today, six years after that eventful day, Saiful called again and said, “Next month, my younger step mother is getting married. Please come and join the festivities.”

July 22 G2G

It is said that the bond of friendship formed in the childhood remains strong till the very end. I can vouch this for all my childhood friends. We may not meet often or even speak over phone but in our heart we know that one call from anyone of us and all will come together. The reason could be that there is no give-n-take in that friendship; it is simple fun n frolic among the Langotias. And what could be better if that camaraderie can be relived once again, even if briefly for just one evening.

My friend Indrajit aka Indro aka Panto was due to come to India on Holiday from Baghdad where he works and his transit stop was Delhi, so we decided to have a get together, but he was not certain about his plans with regard to his stay in Delhi. By the time his confirmation came, it was too late to gather all the classmates but we did try to rope in as many as possible. Those who could not make it felt upset and some of them squarely blamed me and another friend, Satyabrat as we are the ones that usually take up the responsibility of such gatherings. Anyways, we decided to have another shot at arranging a G2G (short for get together) when Indro returns to Delhi on way back to Baghdad. The day was Saturday 22 July 2017.

Information of the proposed G2G were decimated to all friends well in advance through WhatsApp broadcast and all were requested to keep that evening free to meet up friends. We mentioned about Indro being our chief guest but kept a surprise for many in the group. Our friend Debabrata aka Jallu, was coming too from Siliguri just meet Indro and the rest of the gang. It was a gesture on his part that has touched our hearts in way that cannot be expressed in words.

Satya and I got into the act of coordinating with all the langotias and received confirmation from almost all who were in Delhi. It was decided to have the G2G at Satya’s basement den that is spacious enough to accommodate 25-30 people easily. I must make a special mention of few who managed their schedules such a way to ensure their presence – Pulak, came from J&K, Alok, came back from Gujarat and Ashish (aka Hathi but he longer resembles like one) postponed his travel to Bhutan.  The whole preparation to this G2G was akin to the prep that Bongs do every year for Durga Puja, lot of excitement and discussions at every point to make the program flawless. Formed small teams to take care of certain events or arrangement, complete teamwork to ensure the clock doesn’t stop.

The guys who made it that day are – Ramashish (Roma or Chhoton), Amitava (Babua), Suranjan (SuroKhuro), Pranab (Lasoda), Gautam (Gotte), Pulak (Pulki), Taposh (Topshe), Utpal (UD), Pronob (Ponga), Manojit (Gora), Pralay (Pelu), Ashish (Hati), Alok (Aloo), Indrajit (Panto), Debabrata (Jallu), Satyabrata (Satya) and myself (Aro).

We decided to make it contributory so that it does not pinch any one in particular. So a detailed list of food and drinks were decided and each one was asked to bring something or the other. The menu at the end became quite exhaustive – the snacks included Fish Orly, Mutton Chop, Chicken Cutlet, Chicken Cheese Balls, Egg Devil, Boiled Egg, Mochar Chop (Banana Flower Cutlet); Mutton Biriyani and Chicken Korma for main course with Russian Salad, followed by Mishti Doi and Rosogolla as dessert. There was a surprise sweet from Jallu which was swallowed up the moment it was opened. There were enough to drink from soft beverages to beer to whiskey with no holds bar as long as one can stand on his own leg!!!

It was decided that I will pick up Indro from his hotel and then we both will pick up Jallu from the airport. There was some anxious moment when we received message from Jallu that his flight might be delayed by almost 30 minutes as the flight from Delhi hasn’t taken off on schedule. However, this turned out to be a false alarm as his flight did took off on time for Delhi. On the contrary, Indro’s flight hovered over Delhi due to congestion at IGI and he landed almost 45 minutes behind schedule.  Anyways, we had spoken in the morning and fixed 5:30 to 5:45 pm as rendezvous time at IBIS Hotel in Aerocity. I picked him up exactly at 5:45 pm and we proceeded towards Terminal 1 of IGIA where Jallu is expected. We were talking about his holidays and what all he did back home in Ranchi and in the process took a wrong turn that took us 2km further before we could manage a U-turn for T-1. When we were approaching the terminal, Jallu called up to inform that he has just landed and I gave him instructions where to meet us so that we do not waste time in unnecessary parking. As I had predicted, we picked up Jallu at 6:40 pm and proceeded straight to Satya’s home in C R Park.  Although, I used inside roads to avoid traffic as much as possible still it took almost an hour to reach C R Park and then another 15-20 minutes to find a parking spot.

Most of the guys had reached by then, so with the arrival of the CHIEF GUESTS – Indro & Jallu, the party started. Jallu met the others (Indro & I have met him in the previous years at Siliguri and Kolkata) after a gap of 37 years & 4 months to be precise. For a good decade or two we had lost touch and only with advent of Facebook, we were able get connected once again. Pralay or Pelu was missing as he got stuck in heavy downpour and reached by 9 pm. He got his audio equipment for karaoke singing and we realized we never knew his talent in this sphere. Indro had to catch his flight at 3:45 am so left with Lasoda around midnight but the rest carried on till around 1 am. The pictures narrate the evening more accurately than any words that I spin here, so let’s explore….

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Lasoda, Satya, Alok and Babua in rapt attention listening to some stories…
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Jallu telling his story while Indro, Ponga & UD look on…
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Group discussions on random subject…
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When Jallu speaks, everyone listens in rapt attention forgetting the snacks n drinks…
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Gora, Hati, Indro and Jallu (L to R)…
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A relaxing moment…
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SuroKhuro, Topshe, Hati, UD & Satya (L to R)….
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One for the memory….

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Someone clicked me while I was taking a video of the moment.
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Everyone wearing a basket (cap) brought in by Jallu….
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Isn’t the food little more than required? SuroKhuro asking…
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Jallu & Hati bonding, though they never met each other during school…
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A relaxing moment…
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That’s me reciting few lines of one of my favorite poem…
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The Langotia dance…
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The Langotia Dance…
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The Langotia Dance…
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The gang with beautiful wife of Satya, Runu…
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Jallu ne sabko Topi pahana diya!!!
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Pelu after a superb karaoke performance…
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Gotte & Runu clapping for Pelu…
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Indro & SuroKhuro
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Somebody had cracked an adult joke…
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Wassup guys???
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Jallu & Ponga in serious discussions…

Incidentally, Deepika and I were delighted to host Jallu at our home for his overnight stay. Next morning Deepika gave him options of Masala Dosa, Aloo Parantha or Puri Aloo for breakfast and he decided on Aloo Parantha (which I knew would his choice and had told Deepika well before). After a leisurely breakfast around 11 am we decided to leave for the airport to be on time for his 1:10 pm flight back to Siliguri. As we were nearing the airport, suddenly Jallu started patting his pockets and I instantly knew he had forgotten something at home, may be his wallet or mobile phone. It turned out to be his mobile phone. The time on the car clock said 11:23 am and I started calculating how much time will it take to go back home and make the return to airport and realized it would be cutting to short for him to catch the flight. I called up Deepika and asked her to bring the mobile at IIT campus gate where we will meet her. We picked up the phone from her at 11:45 am and then I used my Delhiwala driving skill to drop Jallu at T1 Departure 12:05 pm a flat 20 minutes. I must tell you here that Jallu had forgotten his reading glass at Siliguri while coming and realized only when he was onboard the aircraft!!

The Sunday evening felt like the day-after the Dashami (of Durga Puja), when all celebration ends and one had to wait for a year to start again. The only difference is we do not know we will organize the next G2G and in what scale?

Do Remember Me

Do remember me

If I ever get lost

In the midst of the milling crowd

Or in the black holes of the universe

 

Do remember me

In the new spring of youth

Once you and me

Holding hands

Many wild thoughts having crossed

We have laughed aloud in gay abandon

We have seen the last rays of Sun

Melt away with the waves of the ocean

To rise again over the horizon

 

Do remember me

In your busy day when you miss you lunch

Just to finish that one assignment

Remember

That I too loved this land of ours

I had laughed, I had cried, all with you

 

Many a dreams became reality, got fulfilled

Yet, few remained behind the darkness of the slumber

To take shape in another time with another me

Do remember me…