Earlier in the first week of January 2026, my first book, a collection of short stories, CALL OF THE WILD & OTHER STORIES got published. A long-cherished dream was realised. The publisher, Mr. Debashish Nandi asked me, “Have you been to Kolkata Book Fair?” then went on, “It is the biggest book fair, if not in the world, definitely in Asia and of the country, bigger than the World Book Fair of Delhi.” Honestly, I had stopped going to all kinds of “fairs” because of the unprecedented crowd and pollution. I think I last visited the World Book Fair or whatever it was called then, at least two decades ago, with my family and it was quite a challenge to navigate through the crowd who had no interest in the books but have come for an outing.
I am kind of paranoid about the crowd/ gatherings that Kolkata attracts, for example the Durga Puja. But Debashish insisted that I must visit the KBF at least once to experience the grandeur. I was in two minds, because my book is a work of fiction that I wrote over the past one year and an easy read, nothing serious that will engage the readers in conversations over a cup of tea. Frankly, I don’t expect it to create even a ripple in the publishing world. So, what’s the point of spending money for the airfare and hotel? However, my better half, Deepika too insisted that I should go.
I checked with my Kolkata friends about the location of the fairground and he suggested to look for accommodation in Salt Lake area which is very close to the venue and “able feet” can walk the distance as well. I remembered another friend from NCR had stayed somewhere there and again requested my friend, Abhijit to help find a suitable guesthouse in Salt Lake. Thereafter, I booked my air tickets and the guesthouse, Smriti Villa in GD block of Salt Lake, a mere 2 km from the venue.
I reached Kolkata on 25th morning, my dear friend Atish surprised me by coming to the airport to pick me up instead of sending the car as was discussed over video call. Atish aka Soni, hadn’t had chance to have his breakfast, so we went to kiosk at the airport to munch something and a cup of tea before going over to the guesthouse.
The guesthouse, Smriti Villa was on the first floor of a privately built house having 4 bedrooms with attached bathrooms, a lounge area and kitchen. It was more like a serviced apartment. The check-in was smooth and the manager was very polite and helpful. We had a cup of tea and left for the fairground. Soni, dropped me at the gate no.7 of the venue promising to join along with Abhijit in the evening at the guesthouse.
The entry to the book fair was free but there was security check in place. The guard asked me, “Are you carrying cigarettes?” “No, I don’t smoke.” I replied. His next question, more like robot, baffled me. “Are you carrying lighter or matchbox?” “Why should I carry such a thing when I don’t smoke?” I retorted forgetting the advice of my friend to keep my mouth shut when confronting stupidity in Kolkata. I don’t know if the guard understood or not but waived me to enter.
I entered from the gate number 7 and realised the stall of the publisher Nandi Enterprises was at the other end near the gate number 2. I walked through the fair soaking in the sun as well as the atmosphere around me. The day was Sunday, a holiday for most and the Kolkatans, ever eager for festivities decided to throng the place in full strength. It was a family outing for them. I liked it because more people meant more sell of books. However, within next hour or so, my balloon of euphoria was punctured as I realised the majority of the crowd had no interest in the books, they simply drifted from one stall to the another, giving cursory glance to the displayed books. The only exception were the Bengali language publishers, Ananda, Mitra & Ghosh and Dey’s Publishing where there were queues to enter the stall. The only English language publishing house that attracted similar crowd was Hachette India stall.
As far as my book is concerned, it is just a collection of fictional short stories. Not a serious read but more like a book you read while waiting at airport/ railway station or on your journeys. My marketing/ sales instinct got the jolt when I saw, there was no effort on the part of the publisher to push his books, not just mine but whole bunch of his own publishing. And this was not an isolated case but across the book fair where the smaller publishing houses are simply there to announce their existence. I understand that it is not easy to campaign for your products if you are not trained in retail sales but one can perhaps hire youngsters for the duration of the fair to do the job for you, in fact, there were few stalls which were doing it. I spent almost 4 hours at the book fair and the thought dawned on me that it would have made no difference to the fate of my book if I had skipped it. Two people picked up my book while I was present inside the stall, going through the pages and left without purchasing any book!!!
In the evening, I decided to leave for my guesthouse but coming out did not see the familiar “Toto” or e-rickshaw anywhere. What I saw was the surging wave of humanity coming through aimlessly. They all wanted to be there at the Kolkata Book Fair, touted to be the biggest in the country. They were busy taking selfies and immediately posting on the social media. I opened the google map on my phone and started walking the 1.80 km to my guesthouse.
I was exhausted when I reached my room having woken up at 4 am and having been on my toes since then. I put my phone to charge and crashed out. My friends, Atish and Abhijit, as planned came around 7 pm and woke me up. It was a mini get-together of three Abs and turned out very pleasant and relaxing. Atish brought his elixir-of-life along with some Chakhna which we consumed in the space of 2.5 hours and then ordered food from Koshe Kosha, a restaurant I saw while walking back to the guesthouse from the fair ground. The food turned out to be good and tasty. During the evening, my lunch and dinner for next day was sorted out too, with Atish confirming to pick me up around 11 am and Abhijit inviting us over to his home in the evening.
Next morning, I woke up early and was ready for a cup of tea but found the guesthouse inmates including the manager were still sleeping. It was the Republic Day, a national holiday. I quietly slipped out to explore the neighborhood and find a tea vendor. Being in Kolkata, I knew there would be one not far from my location and I found one soon. A group of morning walkers, few years older to me, perhaps were enjoying their brew and vociferously talking amongst themselves, was what made me look at them and the existence of the tea stall. The “Lal Cha” or the black tea was very refreshing in the morning and I set out to explore further. I found a fruit seller at the corner from where I picked up a bunch of “Kathali Kola” or small banana, having very distinctive taste and aromatic, found only in the eastern part of the country.
Atish came around 11:30 am by which time I had my breakfast of Dosa and Medu Vada from Chennai Square having a Zomato rating of 4.4/5.0 and for a change, the ratings were right. We went to the City Centre Mall and had coffee at the Starbucks outlet. Atish reflected at the high price of the coffee there and the relatively much cheaper options available right across the road at the street-food vendor. I sipped my cappuccino and told him, “You can’t compare this coffee with that instant powder coffee, good things in life have a price.” He did not say anything but nodded his head in appreciation as he sipped his coffee. Thereafter, we took a quick look at the mall and left for our lunch.
The Saptapadi Bengali Restaurant is a theme-based restaurant in honor of the Superstar Bengali Actors Uttam Kumar & Suchitra Sen’s movie of same name. The movie was superhit when it was released for public viewing. I haven’t seen it. In fact, I haven’t seen much of Bengali cinema beyond the masters, Satyajit Ray, Mrinal Sen and Ritwik Ghatak in my youth days. The restaurant was small having around 24-30 pax capacity but the service and food ensure regular footfalls. We found a table for two and settled down. We ordered Muger Dal, Posto Bora, Mangshor Jhol and Sada Bhaat. And rounded it off with Nolen Gur ice-cream. The main course was excellent, light and yummy, the mutton soft enough to fall out from the bones. However, the ice-cream was average, the same flavor from Amul is far more delicious. The restaurant manager took our photo and presented us with a hard copy.
We visited the book fair once again and it being a national holiday, was full of humans thronging the place with gay abandon. Like the previous day, there was no interest, no compulsion to buy books, just roaming around clicking photos and sliding in and out of the stall giving cursory look at the books. However, the food stalls were bulging with crowds and the ground around was littered with disposable plates and glasses despite the availability of wastebins. I bade goodbye and best of luck to Mr. Nandi and came out to sanity.
In the evening as we were getting ready to go to Abhijit’s home, Nandini aka Chhoti, the darling daughter of Atish called to inform that she’s in the vicinity, at a food festival with her friend. I wanted to meet her, my god-daughter, so we went to the food festival. It wasn’t crowded like the book fair, apparently because it had a entry fee. Most of the stalls were of sweets from across the state and few savory stalls as well. One of them was selling octopus (grilled, fried or curry). I checked with Atish if he would like to try but he flatly refused. Chhoti excitedly confirmed that she and her friend had already tasted and it was delicious. We moved on and saw a stall selling pickles; I wanted to check-out the stuff and requested a sample of “Chunda Mango Chutney”. Must inform here that Chunda is primarily sliced mango (or even raw papaya) and made across the country but the spices vary from region to region. Having tasted the varieties from up north to the west, I wanted to check the eastern variety. The sales person offered me a spoonful and then kept offering 5/6 other pickles/ chutneys for tasting without my asking. This was the kind of salesmanship I missed at the book fair. I ended up buying 4 different pickles/ chutneys, would have bought more but keeping in mind the limited space in my cabin luggage, I let go few of the delicious offerings.
At Abhijit’s home, they were just him and his wife, Shukla, their elder son with his wife is settled in USA while the younger one being in merchant navy was away on duty. The evening was well spent chitchatting with them. They also have a third member at home, a beautiful Cocker Spaniel. It was kept in another room and became restless, scratching the door and barking. I told Abhijit to let him out but he was hesitant, felt the dog might become aggressive and bite. “Why will he bite, unprovoked?” I asked him. “He had bitten both me and Shukla.” He replied. Still I insisted that he let Simba out to meet us. He brought him out on a leash. Simba started barking at me but his tail was swinging left to right all along… most likely he was seeking my credentials. I told Abhijit to release him from the leash and I will be responsible if anything goes wrong. The moment, the leash was removed, Simba became calm and came to me sniffing me all over the place. His next move surprised both Abhijit and Shukla, Simba put his paws on my knees and demanded petting. His bonding with me was symbol of pure heart.
Later, after dinner, Abhijit and Shukla dropped me at the guesthouse.
While I was at Abhijit’s home, my cousin bro called up to inform that he was back in Kolkata from his Rajasthan trip and he will have breakfast with me the following morning.
I was ready for my bro when he called up to inform that he was running a bit late and I should have my breakfast without waiting for him. Honestly, I had no idea about the distances in Kolkata otherwise I would have told him to send me his location and I would take a cab to his home. He was coming from Belghoria to Salt Lake to take me back there to meet my octogenarian Aunt and then to Kasba near Acropolis Mall for lunch meet with my other cousins. Looking back, I know it was quite a task which he did with a smiling face. And that’s not all, later in the evening, he dropped me at the airport too.
Lunch menu was decided much earlier, biriyani from Arsalan. The venue was my cousin sister’s home but was shifted to my niece’s home. My niece is just about a year younger to me and we were very good friends, regularly corresponded through snail mail in our younger days.
On my arrival on the day one, the number lock of my suitcase somehow got corrupt and I had to break it to open the suitcase. Thereafter, I had to buy a lock to be able to check-in the luggage but kept forgetting every time I went out. I kept my eyes on the markets we passed by but did not a see a single shop that could possibly have a small lock for the suitcase. In such a situation I fell back on the Q-Commerce sites and ordered one from the Swiggy Instamart. It was delivered in eight minutes.
I had a fabulous time with my cousins and their better halves and thoroughly enjoyed the biriyani but the icing was the Chhanar Dalna prepared by my niece, a typical Bong dish where the paneer cubes are completely caramelized crisp but the inside remains soft and white. It reminded me of my mother’s cooking. I found out how she made it and have plans to try out in the near future. Needless to mention, I presented my cousins and niece, a copy of my maiden book. Hope they’ll enjoy the stories.
My flight back home was horrible; the aircraft was old and seats rattled. On top of it the flight was delayed by 30 minutes (officially) and over 45 minutes actually. When I landed I realized it was terminal 2 instead of usual terminal 3 where AI flights normally operate. Thankfully, Guddu Kumar was on his way and I instructed him to come to T-2 instead of T-3.
I finally reached home around midnight. Besides not-so-good experience at the Kolkata Book Fair, I had a very good time with my friends and cousins.
Why am I writing this after almost 6 months… My Son’s Wedding Story?
Well, this was the second biggest event of our life after the birth of our son. And personally, the last before I depart for the Baikunthadham. More importantly, I witnessed the event unfold from the sidelines, most of the times if not at all times. The mother-son duo managed and did all the external interactions and I watched them doing wonderfully well. Why so? Because I was told to keep my thoughts to myself only and not speak out bluntly which I do most of the times. I have always been like that… blunt, rude, truthful and on your face kind of attitude… now it’s too late to change, so keeping my traps shut was the best for all concerned. And I can tell you the story as it happened truthfully adding few of my special masala to spice it up subtly.
THE BEGINNING
Sometime around September 2022, our only child Ayush announced that he’s ready for marriage and introduced us to his would-be life partner Rajashree, a nice, beautiful young girl. Initially she was nervous meeting us (would be mom n dad) for the first time but as the conversation happened, we put her at ease and she opened up with us. We were overjoyed with the prospect of them getting married but as per Indian customs, the parents must meet n greet and agree to the match. So, it was decided to meet Rajashree’s parents at a restaurant in Connaught Place.
We wanted to have an engagement ceremony in end December when Ayush would come for Christmas holidays, but my sister pointed out that it being the Bengali month of “Poush” it is considered an inauspicious month to celebrate any happy occasion. The formal engagement ceremony was pushed to March 2023 while Ayush arranged for a private party for the two of them where he formally proposed to her and she accepted. We got to see the pictures only!!
We arranged for a small gathering at the Panchsheel Club for the engagement ceremony on 4th March ’23, attended mainly by the relatives of both sides and friends of Ayush and Rajashree and few family friends. Before that, Mr. Guha, arranged for a ceremony called Patipatra, it is the first ritual of Bengali Hindu marriage. It is also known as Lagnapatra or Mangalacharan. Patipatra ritual is basically a preliminary discussion in the presence of Purohit Moshai, finalizing the date and venue of the marriage. It is through this ritual that other rituals of marriage begin… In earlier days, the Patipatra also included the “joutuks & pronamis”, the gifts from both sides that would be exchanged. However, ours was simple which mentioned that both parties agree to the alliance and a date/venue to be decided soon.
After discussing with our Purohit (Pandit Ji), and in consultation with Mr. Guha, we finalized November 27th & 28th 2023 for the marriage of Ayush-Rajashree. It is going to be the biggest event of our life so needed prep starting immediately… but before that our home needed a makeover…
THE PREPARATION
We envisaged the whole operation of home renovation to be of 12-14 weeks though the trusted contractor, Mr. Sheetla Prasad assured finishing by 12 weeks. Both were wrong, it took almost 17 weeks to complete and while it was on Deepika & I was confined to one room only for most of the weeks. At the end however, we now have a brand-new home to live and enjoy for a long time to come.
While the home was getting renovated, we did the wedding shopping mostly giveaways ensuring value for money for each item bought. Deepika and I went to Kolkata to do shopping and bought sarees, dhoti-kurta and ritualistic items for the marriage ceremony (see Shopping dot Kolkata at Aranyascope).
Ayush staying in a bachelor pad with two other friends decided to move into a family accommodation after marriage and started looking around for a lease. Most of the organization which went into WFH mode had recalled their employees thus sending the rentals up north. The 2BHK apartments were costlier than his current lease of 3BHK which anyway were skyrocketing. We advised him to look for an apartment to buy instead of rent… the logic being that he would pay the EMI instead of the rent and acquire a property which would appreciate in value over the years. Initially, like all youngsters he was hesitant… “I don’t know if I will be in the country five years down the line, what will I do with the apartment then?” But eventually he agreed and started house hunting with a renewed zeal. He shortlisted couple of places but wanted us to have a look and confirm. Deepika decided to go and take a call and utilized the visit to meet few of her clients in the city. On the second day of her there in Bengaluru, she called me and declared that I was needed there to break the impasse as what she likes, Ayush doesn’t and vice versa. The following evening, I reached Bengaluru and was told that what Deepika likes is little further from Ayush’s office increasing his commute time substantially while the one Ayush was keen is in a unusual surrounding… the property was developed by one of the top notch developer of the city, Brigade Group, it was primarily developed for a hotel chain as “Suites” in the floors 4 to 6 with floor 1 to 3 as co-working space and the ground floor as food court. However, due to Covid pandemic the deal fell through and they were selling the space as individual units. The unit itself was large (1800 sqft) 2.5 BHK, ideal for a couple… but the issue was the surrounding; the location of the property was on a busy main road next to an office building. The security was an issue as well because of the food court and co-working space in the same building. Also, there was no greenery or walking space, it lacked the feeling of living a residential building.
Anyways, I went to check the places with an open mind after fixing appointments with the respective agents. Our first visit was to Whitefield where Deepika liked the apartment. It was gated community and the unit was on the 6th floor, quite airy and lighted consisting of 3 bedrooms and decent sized living cum dining room. We liked it despite the increased commuting time for Ayush as well Rajashree. However, while we were at the other property, the agent called up to inform that the unit has been sold and he can show us some other units in a few days time.
Having rejected the second property, we were back to square one and I was feeling that my visit was a total waste time and money. On Monday evening, Ayush called and said that one of the agents he was interacting will be able to show us an apartment at Shobha Royal Pavilion, Sarjapur Road. It was a delightful news because Shobha Developers are one the top five and reliable builders. Their properties get sold as soon as they announce the project.
The following day we reached the site and met Deepak, the agent who took us inside the complex. The property layout reminded me of our stay in NCC Urban, Hyderabad. Three towers were completed, and two more towers are in the finishing stages for handover. The concerned apartment was on the 18th floor of tower 4 where final finishing touches were underway. The elevators were working, and we went up to the 18th floor… only 4 apartments per floor which was a good sign. We liked the apartment as soon as we entered… some places give you a positive vibe immediately. It was well lighted and airy with space enough for the couple as they start their marital life. Both, Ayush and Rajashree were in their respective offices, but we needed them to see the place and take the call. They agreed to reach within an hour. We told Deepak that we liked the apartment, and he should hold on to it till the kids see it and confirm. Promising to meet us again in one hours time at the site, he went to have his lunch while we had our coffee while waited for the arrival of Ayush and Rajashree.
The abode of Ayush & Rajashree
Ayush and Rajashree both liked the apartment, and the deal was sealed. It was decided that Deepak would speak to the owners Deepali and Amaresh and work out the formalities. The whole process was estimated to be done in 60days, but Madhav had other ideas, it took 4 months to complete the deal in mid-January 2024. However, the owners had given the keys to Ayush on receipt of the initial payment, so he could start the interior decoration while formalities and paperwork was going on. Following evening I came back home but Deepika stayed back to attend to business meetings.
The month of October came and went away along with the festivities of Durga Puja and our annual Laxmi Puja at home. We were in the wedding month before we could realize. Ayush came home 2 days before the Diwali, and we celebrated it in the usual way. However, there was no time for the Diwali card parties…we were bracing for the grand party on 27th and 28th of the month.
A week before the D-day, Sangeeta & Santanu came over to guide and help us pack the Gaye Holuder Tatva. The packing of Gaye Holuder Tatva is quite intricate, imaginative and requires not just creativity but some level of expertise in the concept of packaging. The items are non-standardize both in shape, size and material. Sangeeta having done it for her daughter Shinjini’s wedding knew it at heart. We had bought the trays (specially made for this purpose) and cellophane sheets besides ribbons and assorted items. She and Deepika made the trays while Santanu and I packed them at our best abilities. Some of the items like the Lehenga posed a challenge because not only it was voluminous but quite heavy. Then there were glass and silver items which needed to be firmly placed on the tray before wrapping. It took more than 5 hours to do the packing between 4 of us. We purposely avoided making fancy packages (the usual norm e.g. creating a cone or boat shape using a saree) as these were to be transported twice, once from our home to the hotel and then to Rajashree’s parental home. I had few big cartons in which I placed these trays duly numbered and noted to make a list for the bride’s side to tally. Later, I got to know that even this list is usually made very fancy with poems and drawings describing each item!!! A few perishable items were left to be procured and packed on the day of Gaye Holud. I entrusted the job of procurement and packing to friends staying close to the venue of wedding.
Ayush had a Sherwani with open front stitched at Bengaluru nicely embroidered but extremely ill fitting. We went to Manyavar in Southex hoping to find a tailor to correct it or find something alternate. They said they don’t do alteration for garments made by others; also, their largest size was a bit smaller for Ayush’s physic. However, one of the salesmen provided an address in Lajpat Nagar who do alterations. It was a small shop specializing in wedding attires at a reasonable price. The owner said he can make it better fitting provided there was enough margin (cloth) to play. He promised delivery within 4-5 days. We bought a matching Safa & Stollfrom him and waited for the renewed sherwani.
As promised, we got the sherwani duly altered without any difference to the fittings. We were in a panic mode with only 4 days remaining before the event. Ayush had spent a lot on the sherwani and was not keen to spend more, however, after lot of persuasion agreed to check-out nearby designers who can do it within the short time we had. Designer Vikas Makhija was one from whom he had got a “Modi Jacket” made few months ago which fitted him perfectly. We went to his outlet at Shivalik, Basant Kaur Marg but he did not have anything readily available that fitted Ayush. When we narrated our predicament, he agreed to do it and deliver on Monday evening, the day we were to move to the hotel in the morning. We kept our fingers crossed.
THE EVENTS
My eldest sister and nephew came from Germany on 25th and the wedding celebrations were kicked off on 26th November 2023 with the ceremony called NANDI MUKH, a Bengali ceremony for all happy occasions, this ceremony is performed at the bride and the groom’s home by their respective families, a day before the wedding. The significance of Nandi Mukh is to pay tributes to the deceased ancestors of both sides and seek their blessings. An elaborate pooja is performed under the guidance of a pundit or some elder member of the family. Holy spirits are invoked to shower their blessings on the bride and groom. After the pooja, a fun factor comes into play. A bachelor lunch billed as the last bachelor lunch for the groom and the bride (known as ‘Aaiburobhaat’), is organized where friends and family members make the bride and groom eat to their fullest. A special effort is made to cook several dishes, including their favorite ones. The Nandimukh ceremony can prolong for 5 hours plus but I told the Panditji to make it concise as much as possible and he did his best to complete the rituals within 4 hours. All the ritualistic items like the Kulo, Khuri, Pradeep, gamchha, dhuti, saree etc. were bought from Kolkata except the perishables like fruits, veggies and sweets which I bought locally except banana which my cousin brought from Kolkata, because a whole un-cut bunch (hand) of small bananas known as Yelakki or Elaichi was needed but we don’t get them here in Delhi (one can place an advance order with some vendors in C R Park but no guarantee that it will be delivered as required on time).
We had arranged for lunch for the invitees at the rooftop of our residence (the owner of that space had kindly consented to our request and were away to Mumbai giving us complete freedom to deck-up the place). The caterer was a young chap called Dipakar Acharya (Dipu), with whom I got connected through my dear friend Ashishh. Before confirming I tasted the food at an event in CR Park and liked it. The food spread was completely Bengali cuisine starting with Narkel diye Chholar Dal, Jhurjhure Aloo Bhaja, Beguni, Aloo-Kopir Torkari, Chhanar Dalna, Katla Maachher Kaalia, Chicken Rezala, Gobindobhog Bhaat, Papor Bhaja, Pineapple Chaatni, Mishti Doi and Sandesh. Needless to say, the event went off very well with the guest relishing and enjoying food and the warmth of the late-November Sun.
Later in the evening, on persistent demand of the nieces, a Mehendi team was arranged along with the customary street food that goes with it… Gol-gappa, Bhalla-paapri, Aloo Tikki, Samosa and Dhokla. We did not expect many people to join as it was decided just two days before and invitations had gone late. However, to our surprise, those who had come for the Nandimukh, stayed back and others joined later in the evening. Deepika’s friends, Mala, Sumita, Radhika and Madhavi who had been instrumental in making our wedding a real dashing affair 32.5 years ago, made the evening come alive with their never diminishing energy through singing and dancing. We requested Kartik, hubby of Arushi to arrange for the music appropriate for the occasion and he delivered with high level of professionalism. The music made everyone dance to the tune including yours truly and my octogenarian sister from Germany. The event which was supposed to be for just between 4 to 7 pm went on till about 9pm and we were simply exhausted by then and needed a good nightly sleep to recuperate for the grand events to follow.
Deepika and her friends, instrumental for a happening Mehendi Function
Oh, I forgot to mention that on 25th November evening, Rajashree’s parents and some family members came over to our home to bless Ayush. The ceremony of AASHIRWAAD itself is supposed to be elaborate but in view of the upcoming events, we decided to keep it simple and limited to immediate family members. Aashirwaad, similar to Sagai in North India’s marriages, is a common ceremony observed by the bride’s and groom’s families. It usually takes place much before the wedding. However, Bengalis are flexible in their approach. Keeping the convenience of their guests in mind, they sometimes organise the Aashirwaad just prior to the wedding ceremony. The objective is to ensure that all the elders in the family, and among friends too, bless the couple. With some dhaan (rice grains) and durba (three-pronged grass blade) and sweets, the bride and the groom are blessed. As an expression of blessings, gifts or money are also given. However, unlike the North Indian’ marriages, ring exchange is optional.
The morning of 27th started with a busy note, my cousins (sisters) coming from Kolkata had to be picked up from the T-2 IGIA in the morning. Deepika’s Bhabi and niece were reaching Nizamuddin Railway Station around 7 am… she went with Guddu to pick them up while I picked up my cousin brother from La Paz hotel on the way to the airport. These pickups couldn’t be outsourced like I did for my friend Abhijit Bose coming from Kolkata by Rajdhani who was picked-up by my dear friend Gora. Ayush had instructed his outstation friends & colleagues to avail Ola/ Uber and reach the hotel on their own.
We had lot of stuff to transfer to hotel from home…some very delicate like the Shree which Shinjini aka Jhukku made with help from her granny. It had come out beautiful and everyone who saw, appreciated it immensely. Then there were the ghot and Kulo decked up with items and blessings of the ancestors which needed to be carried as it is and with care. We had two vehicles to ferry the material and humans but that wasn’t enough, so I called my friends Tapas and Robin with their cars. In two trips, most of the stuff were transferred and only the most personal items were held back to be taken personally with us. By the time everything was done, it was well past 3 pm and time to go for the trial of Ayush’s sherwani. The sherwani was ready for fitting and it took less than 15 minutes to assess the points that needed refinement. The delivery was scheduled for 8 pm same evening. We paid up and introduced Guddu who would pick it up and bring to the hotel.
We reached the hotel around 4:15 pm and the extended lunch hour was almost over… we quickly went grab some food at the Kylin Restaurant of the Holiday Inn, Mayur Vihar. Just as I was about to dig into the Chicken Leg piece, my friends Abhijit aka Bhnodor (from Kolkata) and Tapas came and asked, “What purpose do you need the Sandesh, Rosogolla and Mishti Doi?” I told them its for the Tatwa of Gaaye Holud. “Are you certain?” Topshe double checked and when I said, “Yes, affirmative.” He said, “Okay” and they left. I had no idea then, why they asked but later got to know the significance.
I wanted to take rest (nap) for a while before the evening cocktails but don’t know how the time flew and it was time to get ready for the big event. My “dress suits” were there but I couldn’t see my suitcase containing rest of my clothes. I went in a panic mode and asked Guddu, who had gone to pick-up Ayush’s Sherwani to go home and check if I had left it there. A few minutes later, he confirmed it wasn’t at home. I immediately raised an alarm with the hotel staff and they went in a tizzy checking the CCTV cameras but could find nothing amiss. I tried hard recalling the events of the day… how and which boxes/ suitcases went in which vehicle. By this time, the entire hotel staff was looking for my “missing suitcase” by checking with each guest room if they have an alien baggage. In my T-shirt and Jeans, standing in the lobby, I started welcoming the guests and they wondered why the groom’s father is not dressed for the occasion!!! On hindsight, I could have attended the event just like that creating a fashion sense for others to follow!!!
On a desperate note, I called up Robin, my friend, and asked him to check his SUV for the suitcase, after a while he called to say that its not with him. Then I called up Topshe, who was in the midst of getting ready for the cocktails but he ran to his car and confirmed that it was with him and he’s bringing it asap. I called the hotel desk and apologized for the confusion but their demeanor suggested that they are quite accustomed to such misadventures!!!
The cocktail was arranged at the poolside of the hotel which had limited capacity (max 175-180 pax) because of non-availability of the banquette hall therefore with a heavy heart we had to prune our invitations. The party began with a joyous note with singing and dancing on the specially created floor. I must mention that my friend Santanu and his son Shenjit, a very dear friend of Ayush mesmerized the gathering with their soulful singing. Ayush sung a very emotional song for Rajashree and then there were few amateurs who sang at their own tune. I had requested my friend Dr. Pralay Dey to sing a few songs but at the end he did not get an opportunity to showcase his talent. The other highlight was my friend Ashishh getting drunk having experimented with his tipple. Indro, Pralay and I had to support him to the car at 2:00 am and told the driver to deposit him at his home if not on his bed.
I finally went to bed around 2:45 am after getting a bed set up for Ayush who was still out with his friends enjoying the last few hours of bachelorhood, only to wake up around 4:30 am for the Dodhi Mangal, a ritual where the groom and bride fed a mixture of curd, poha, Sandesh and banana before the sunrise on the day of wedding. Usually, that’s all they have till the wedding ceremony is completed. We had carried all the ingredients from home but the carefully packed items were nowhere to be seen. Only the pack of Sandesh and Dahi rested in the refrigerator, I ordered the poha and banana online (Swiggy Instamart) hoping they will deliver at that ungodly hour. To my surprise they not only accepted the order but delivered (at the gate of the hotel) in exactly 8 minutes. While I had gone to collect the order, Deepika called up room service and asked for the same things as well. It doesn’t end here… while Ayush was having the concoction, Deepika’s friend Sumita came to our room with the original pack of the poha and banana which had been in her room all along!!!
Deepika and I woke up around 7:30 am and got ready for the breakfast and prep for the Gaaye Holud (Haldi Ceremony) slated to start around 9:00 am… the venue being the poolside once again. We had engaged a decorator who decked up the place with lots of yellow and white flowers besides other props. The Gaaye Holuder Tatwas were brought and displayed in such a way that all invitees could see them. My friends brought the decked up whole fish (a 5kg Rahu) along with the trays of Sandesh, rosogolla and mishti doi… we thought we did a good job with the gifts, both in numbers as well as with the packaging till we experienced how it is done in the Bong way when the Boubhaat/ Phoolsojja’r Tatwas came to our home 2 days later. Earlier, we had requested Sangeeta Basu to collect water in a ghara (pot) in lieu of Ganga Jal (normally collected after Ganga Nimantran) which is used as a symbolic bathing water for the groom/ bride. There’s a full ritual of Ganga Nimantran and collection of water by 5 married ladies from each side which the bride’s side did but we neither knew the exact ritual nor bothered about it. My parents never indulged in elaborate rituals and wherever permitted made it simplistic in line with modern times, I have gone a step ahead and don’t get into rituals at all though I never oppose if anyone wishes to follow and provide the logistics wholeheartedly.
We had arranged for brunch but almost all the guests had breakfast in the morning, so the brunch became lunch and still many skipped it resulting in not fulfilling the minimum guarantee. The dish Sarso Saag with Makki Roti became an instant hit with the guests from Eastern part of the country, for most it was the first time tasting. Post lunch, the ladies and girls got busy with the team of make-up artists for the evening ahead. Deepika asked me to get the facial done but I refused. I helped Ayush in wearing the pant-dhoti and very finely starched silk kurta with typical Bengali style embroidery, the attire for the Bengali Groom. Deepika dressed in a traditional Bengali red bordered white saree and decked it up in Bong style. I wore the dhoti and kurta which was strikingly similar to Ayush’s. We were all set for the Punjabi style Baraat sans the Ghori (horse) which had been replaced with a vintage Impala car.
Our Panditji, Haru Babu had reached the hotel and had set up the Mandap where the wedding ceremony was to be held; he called me up and urged me to let the Barat get going but before that there’s ritual for the mother where she blesses the son along with other elderly ladies and sends the groom to bring home the bride. Thereafter, the father takes the son to the gate from where the bride’s brother takes him to the Mandapdwar where the mother-in-law along with others welcomes the groom. Our case was a bit different, since Ayush has inherited both cultures, it was decided that the Baraat will assemble at the Gate #2 of the hotel and slowly move to the main gate where the bride’s side will welcome and take over the rituals. The assembly of Baraat was timed at 4:15 pm but was inevitably delayed and after frequent reminders, all gathered at the designated spot around 4:45 pm and we started the yatra with the beats of drums and typical baraat songs.
As it happens in any wedding, the time schedule goes haywire despite best efforts, here too it happened. Firstly, we were late in starting the baraat then there was delay from the bride’s side who did their best to get ready for the occasion given the space constraints vis-a-vi the number of persons. As a result, the ceremony which was to start at 5:00 pm finally began around 6:00 pm. It’s a long ritual, perhaps the longest compared to other cultures…over 2 hours at the least. I also realized that father of the groom has no role to play in this ritual except be around and entertain the guests.
Rajashree’s Kaka (paternal uncle) sat for the ceremony and solemnized the holy matrimony including Sampradan or Kanyadan. Nowadays, there’s a lot of angst for this amongst the GenZ, primarily because the concept has never been explained to them with clarity. Last year my friend Debu’s son got married and the young couple got married under the auspices of Vedic Wedding, a new concept getting popular in the Bengal. What I could understand is that a group of women (priests) chant certain Vedic Mantras and after each verse, it is explained to the couple and the audience, followed by an appropriate Rabindrasangeet. The whole ceremony takes as much time but it avoids all controversies.
One of the most emotional moments in a women’s life and that of her parents is the ritual of Kanyadaan or Sampradaan in a wedding ceremony. But from where does the concept come from and what’s its validity today? While every one of us knows about kanyadaan as we see it every day in Indian shows and movies, the meaning behind it is barely understood through these mediums. Why does it take place, when it was started, the history behind it, and many more questions just come to our mind and is lost with time…
Not only Kanyadaan, but each of the rituals that take place during the wedding ceremony is passed down from many generations before. But if we talk about the Vedas, there’s hardly any evidence to say that Kanyadaan was mentioned there. As per the Vedas, the consent of the bride was primary and the couple entered into the union of marriage as equals. So, from where does the concept of Kanyadaan came? Some Pandits believe the concept came from Manu Smriti texts and comparatively a new ritual. However, more plausible reason could be that in Hindu society, irrespective of the caste, each of us are descendent of a Rishi which forms our Gotra. So, at the time of wedding, the father/ guardian transfers her Gotra to the groom’s. Moreover, during a wedding ceremony, the bride is considered to be a form of the Goddess Laxmi, while the groom is a form of Lord Vishnu. The parents of the bride are initiating the union of two Gods through this ceremony.
Sampradaan, is not only an important ritual based on the texts but also a very emotional moment for the family as they give away their most prized possession. The ‘Sampradaan’ is also said to be the greatest gift of all given by the bride’s father to the groom. The ritual of Sampradaan is also meant to be the consent of the bride’s parents on accepting the groom as their son-in-law and a request the groom to accept their daughter as his wife.
The wedding ceremony concluded with the PHERAS (circling around the fire while Pandit Ji chanted the mantras) and application of SINDUR on the forehead of the bride by the groom. It was past 9:00 pm, the bride, groom, Deepika and I rushed to our rooms to changeover to our party dress. Once again on hindsight, we shouldn’t have bothered because by the time, we came to the banquette hall, a sizeable number of guests had left and few others were bidding their good-byes. Only the close friends and relations stayed back. We had few photo sessions with the newly wedded couple. My friend Rini’s daughter took the stage and sang songs, also encouraged the friends of Ayush-Rajashree to join her the stage for singing and dancing.
A table was set for us to have dinner but I had no appetite left, so just nibbled the food that was served and gave company to my Sambhandi and others from the bride’s side at the table. It was well past midnight, when the last of the guests departed. In Bong custom, the bride and groom spend the rest of the evening in a room called Basorghor, in the company of friends and siblings including cousins playing games, singing, quizzing and chatting, generally getting to know each side of the families. Legend has it that many more alliances are formed there on that evening. However, I believe, Ayush-Rajashree had no such adventures and simply crashed out after spending some time with their friends.
Following morning, most of the guests checked out early morning after breakfast, few left even without to catch their flight/ train. We had a leisurely breakfast and packed up to depart. However, this time I could not summon my trusted friends as one of them had an important meeting in office while the other one was down with migraine. We hired an Uber for the extra luggage, my cousin Apu went with it while Guddu took my sister and nephew, Deepika and I took my Jeep. Meanwhile, Ayush & Rajashree had gone to her home in Noida and came home later in the evening. My brother, lent his brand new XUV700 duly decked up with flowers, driven by Aditya (Chintu) to bring back the young couple home. Rajashree’s brother and cousin (sister) came along too. As per the Bong customs, the bride and groom are not supposed to see each other that evening, so Rajashree’s cousin stayed with her that night while her brother shared the hotel (La Paz) room with Ayush.
When the couple comes home, the mother-in-law welcomes her and she is asked to step on a wide bowl of Milk and Alta (a red liquid) and walk on a white saree with red border laid like carpet. This is followed by the bride boiling milk where the milk is supposed to overflow signifying that she is here with her abundant love for the whole family.
We had lots of food in the fridge which were warmed up for dinner but the kids wanted to pizza which was ordered by Ayush. Post dinner, my nephew went to Sheraton, Saket as he was on WFH mode for next three days, I dropped Ayush, Ritwik and my cousin at La Paz. The following day was another big occasion, The Boubhaat, we intended to keep it a family affair and therefore did not invite any friends. The catering was entrusted to Vidhu & Rajesh, both very accomplished Chefs running their catering business in the name of Cosmo Palette. The venue was our rooftop which got decorated once again for the lunch.
Rajashree’s parents along with relations came and with them came the Phoolsojjar Tatwa comprising of all the gifts she and Ayush got besides for Deepika and yours truly. But the most eyecatching and awe inspiring were trays of Bengali sweets, at least a dozen of them and big ones. Since the Bong sweets have a very short life, we distributed most of it amongst my siblings and neighbours besides all the helps around our home. We still had a lot to consume and the result showed up after a month when I went through full body checkup.
It is needless to say, the lunch was grand, the guests liked the fusion cuisine served by Cosmo Palette consisting of both Bengali and Punjabi dishes accompanied by free flow of beer and other liquids.
Normally, the bride-groom’s bed is decked up with flowers on this day by the sibling, friend and/ or cousins of the bride but in the rush of the day, it was missed out completely and at the end of the day both Ayush and Rajashree simply wanted to sleep on whatever was available. They were completely exhausted, so were we!!!
I should stop now. But then the final chapter of this saga will remain untold…
On 6th December ’23, we organized Satyanarayan Katha at home to culminate the marriage rituals by thanking Lord Vishnu to let the ceremonies go through unencumbered. Thereafter in the evening, Ayush & Rajashree went to her paternal home for Ashtamangala,(another ritual where the couple goes back to bride’s parental home for overnight stay on the 8th day post marriage for certain rituals). Ayush & Rajashree wanted to register their marriage, so Ayush utilised the service of some law firm online and received a confirmation for appointment with the Marriage Registrar, right after the Ashtamangala, On the appointed day we all went to the Registrar’s office at Saket but were late and missed our appointment and had to wait for an hour to meet the Registrar. After scrutinizing the physical documents, he declared that the registry cannot happen as the “Aadhar Documents” submitted were erroneous… the addresses of both Ayush and Rajashree were mixed up. We tried to reason with him that it’s a minor mistake which can easily be rectified later but he was adamant. We were dejected because the kids were going back to their work city, Bengaluru in two days and it would be difficult for them to come back quickly. I decided to reason out with the ADM (Assistant District Magistrate), the immediate boss of the Registrar and sought an appointment. Deepika along with Mr. & Mrs. Guha were outside when she noticed the name of Dr. Ruby Makhija as Chairperson of some committee within MCD. Dr. Ruby happens to be our RWA General Secretary but beyond that an untiring social worker with an amiable nature that has helped her garner a wide support base not only within the colony but across other welfare associations besides the power corridors. She immediately called her up seeking help/ advice. She contacted the District Magistrates office and sought a relief for us. The guy who had refused to entertain us earlier, now under the directive from DM’s office immediately acted on our issue, officially declaring Ayush & Rajashree as married couple. To celebrate the culmination of the yearlong grand event, the two families went to Saket Social to satiate the appetite after a stressful morning.
I know, it is too long and at times probably boring with uninteresting details but readers, as I said in the beginning, this was a very big event in my life and perhaps the last, so I have taken the liberty to speak finally. I have deliberately, left out many titbits to keep it precise hoping to share them under another canopy in the future, if Madhav so desire.
Aranyascope 