Ever since I have come of age, “Am good” has been my standard response to “Howdy buddy”. Even when I am in pain or distress. I was trained to hide my discomfort not by anybody but the circumstances and environment around my growing up years. The only person to whom I could confide about my physical and/or mental distress was my mother and she’s long gone, forever.
The festival season in India begins with the arrival of Lord Ganesh… Shree Ganesh Chaturthi till the English New Year. Then of course there is Sankranti followed by Saraswati Puja culminating in the festival of colours, Holi. Over six months of celebrations.
There’s an interesting story narrated by my mother… Lord Ganesh was upset when his human head had to be replaced with an elephant head, he felt, no one will respect or pray to him as he was deformed. His father, Lord Shiva arranged for a race between him and his brother Kartikeya to circumnavigate the universe and whoever wins the race will be have the honour of being Pratham Pujya or the first to be worshipped. Lord Kartikeya started off on his Peacock and took an early lead but Lord Ganesh stayed back and simply circled around his parents Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati. He declared, “My parents are my universe.” Impressed by his wisdom, Lord Shiva granted him the boon of being the Pratham Pujya. He further declared him to be the Vighnaharta, the remover of all obstacles which is why Lord Ganesh is invoked before starting anything new. Jai Ganesh. Jai Vighnaharta.
The festival season is supposed to be of merriment and joyous occasion; however, I invariably get emotionally charged and depressed during this time. As I am not a person to confide my thoughts to others including my partner, I tried to figure out the reason.
The emotional blackout resulting in deep depression stems from my childhood. I was the seventh child and that too accidental, totally unplanned. My other siblings were born in quick succession with max gap of four years whereas I have a clear difference of at least seven years from my elder sibling. And my birth did not bring any joy to the family instead it brought discomfort and misery. My father lost his job at the bank and had to settle for a job at one-fourth the salary, finding it difficult to feed so many mouths. Overnight we slipped into poverty from being affluent.
I remember going to the “ration shop” with my father and brothers to get our staples of rice, pulses and wheat which used to be sub-standard, full of pebbles and sand. My mother and elder sisters would painstakingly clean them before use. We lived in a forty-square-feet, two room house where one corner of the first room doubled up as kitchen. Cooking used to be on coal fired angithee or oven which made my mother an asthma patient in later years. The word or concept of luxury was not in our dictionary; we survived on a day-to-day basis. We were not supposed to get unwell as that would mean spending scarce resources on medicine. But as fate would have it, my father became very sick with stomach ulcers that caused him extreme pain and discomfort not to mention the high cost of medications. He suffered for almost ten long years before getting relief from Unani medicines from the senior Hakim of Hamdard.
In such an environment, the festival of Durga Puja brought gloom over the family, not joy. The friends or the peer group would flaunt their new clothes… one new outfit for each day of puja when we could barely have one set for the entire duration. As I grew up, I became conscious about our predicament and I would become depressed with emotional outbursts. Today, affordability is not a concern but the pain is different, missing the ones that were dear to the heart. This depression is chronic without relief.
The situation improved partially when my eldest sister and brother started working after their college and two other sisters got married to their boyfriends. My parents grudgingly accepted but I have a suspicion that they sighed with relief as well.
I particularly remember one afternoon, when at the lunch, mother informed there is only dal-chawal and no sabji. I started crying. My mother went to a neighbour to borrow a potato to make some fries for me. Whenever I think about that afternoon, I am drowned in utter shame.
Another instance that makes me feel ashamed of myself happened years later in my teenage years. Most of my friends in school would go to Kolkata (then Calcutta) during the summer break to their relatives. We too had relatives from both parent’s side but the cost of making such a journey deterred us. Anyways, it was the summer break after the class-10 exams when a close friend was going alone to Calcutta and he urged me to go along with him. He was not privy to my financial constraints and kept prodding me. Unable to resist I demanded my parents to provide the funds for the trip. My friend’s parent insisted on traveling by Rajdhani Express with just three in-between stoppages of less than 5 minutes, a safer journey but much more expensive compared to the other trains. My father provided the funds which I did not ask from where or how then but much later, when he had left this world, I suspected was it was borrowed from some source. I did not mean to embarrass him but inadvertently by my stubbornness and immaturity, I did. And worst of it I never said sorry to him.
It is not that I did not have fun, joyous moments growing up, there were a quite a few occasions that brought happiness in our life but they were few and far between. We used to have great times whenever my maternal uncle visited us. Also, I had memorable time when I first met my (maternal) grandparents. In their own way they spoilt me throughout my stay with them. Happy memories.
I being the youngest of the lot, had the privilege of observing the elders, both their wisdom and follies. As an individual, I have strived to use their wisdom and shun their follies from my life. As a struggling family, there wasn’t much thoughts about higher education or career development. The living thought was to complete the college degree and find a job, any job. Only the collective money could improve our lifestyle. That was the thought of the time. There was no one to guide or show a path to the youths to go for higher education or even attempt to become a govt/ bank officer. All my siblings started working at the lowest rung in private organisations taking years to climb up the ladder. I was no exception. I did try to become a Chartered Accountant (CA) and appeared for the entrance exam failing in one subject by two marks. There was no one to push or encourage to try again.
However, I was lucky to have two excellent teachers or as I call them Gurus, who poured their knowledge onto me and taught me the fundamentals of marketing and management in real world. Their teachings surpassed the teachings of the management institute where I got my post-grad diploma in management. The diploma has remained a piece of paper only to add a line on my resume.
My friends and family are blessed with one advantage – faith in something or someone superior in whatever manifestation. Whenever they are in distress or otherwise, they pray to that power. They feel inner peace. I do not recall when I last prayed. I simply cannot bring myself to ask any favour or boon from something or someone who’s existence, I find questionable. I do not pray; I do penance for living in this world by accident. I strongly feel, I don’t deserve to be here.
Why am I telling you all these things?
Because, year after year during the festive time, my inner demon haunts me with these thoughts. I have grown intellectually as well as materialistically to know that there’s no point in pondering over the past. But on a rainy evening, when it gets dark, I experience inexplicable panic. I don’t share my fear. I don’t share my thoughts. I don’t speak out. I understand in this world filled with noise and chaos, silence is golden. Less I speak, it brings peace around me now. And that’s how I shall drift away.
In the recent times, two of the iconic restaurants of Kolkata, namely 6 Ballygunge Place & Arsalan have opened their branch in Delhi and I have visited both these places. The former is famous for the typical Bengali cuisine offering in a fine dining ambience while the Biriyani of the latter is to die for.
I being a lifelong marketing-advertising person, I believe the customer is the king/queen. The customer is always right even if he/she is not, you have to accept that they are right. That’s how the business runs and flourishes. Some of the organisation goes extra miles to satisfy their customers. One example I would like to mention here… While visiting my son and daughter-in-law in Bangalore, I realised they don’t have an appropriate utensil to cook 1kg of mutton, so after consulting my wife I ordered for a 3ltr Prestige Pressure Cooker from Blinkit. However, on receipt, I found it to be significantly small for the purpose and I need at least a 5ltr capacity pressure cooker. I called up the customer care and explained the issue. They readily accepted and refunded the money and asked me to choose and buy from the app. They could have refused the return as I had made a conscious choice but they showed empathy with their customer and won my allegiance for life.
Coming back to the restaurants, I found 6 Ballygunge Place, Eldeco Centre, next to Malaviya Nagar Metro station, New Delhi to be very friendly, warm place where one can go back any number of times. The staff is knowledgeable, ready to help with suggestions and prompt with service. The food is, of course very delicious and authentic and the menu has a wide range to choose from. The management and staff of the place keep their customer in high esteem and go miles to satisfy their needs and wants. No wonder that you have to make prior bookings most of the days for lunch or dinner, as their covers are mostly 100% occupied.
oplus_1179650
In stark contrast is Arsalan Restaurant, recently opened in Rajouri Garden, New Delhi… I visited the outlet yesterday with my dear friend Santanu Basu. Both of us are familiar with the restaurant in Kolkata having dined as well as packed the Biriyani and curries from their Park Circus and EMP Bypass outlets. These outlets, despite heavy footfalls have always won our appreciation for quality of food as well as service. However, their Delhi outlet has miles to go to earn the badges. When we went there, we were asked to upstairs by the lady at the front desk without specifying the floor, neither made any effort to guide us; we decided to check both first and second floors. Luckily for us, we found seating on the first floor itself which had only one other table occupied by a couple. The air-conditioning wasn’t switched on near our table, not a single staff was visible to even offer the menu. I found one lying on the next table and took it. After almost 15 minutes, a steward came with another menu but then we had decided our dishes and placed our order. Another 10-15 minutes passed before we were served, we had asked for a full plate of Biriyani to be served half n half (the Park Circus outlet served us when a dozen of us visited the place for dining) but the guy came with a full plate of Biriyani and an empty plate. He started clumsily to divide it into two portions and I had to stop him because he was spilling the food on the table. We asked for Coke Zero and Regular Coke but was served Diet Coke instead. Overall, the staff gave out a feeling that they are not interested in their job, they don’t love what they are supposed to do and perhaps shall do the minimum to keep their job. We asked the steward for suggestions about the curry, instead of recommending, he simply ranted out the menu. I was looking for some human touch and empathy not a robotic server.
There is no doubt that their chefs are class apart when it comes to cooking Biriyani, it is flavourful, non-spicy with succulent mutton pieces, melt in mouth potatoes and egg. We ordered for a plate of Quorma to go with the Biriyani, it was more of a regular curry than Quorma. Santanu and I, both agreed that the Quorma we had at Al Jawahar Restaurant at Jam Masjid was far tastier and more flavourful. And yes, that’s another restaurant we will go back because of friendly services.
We packed some dishes for back home, which were packed nicely in an expensive jute bag, how long they will giveaway this complimentary jute bag, that’s a question. In Kolkata, they pack in polybags only as a standard packaging and does a double packing if it is to be taken on a train or airplane.
In conclusion, I think, food industry is highly competitive and complex business because, it not has to cater to the taste buds but needs to up their customer service to ensure repeat footfall.
Gobindo Babu was sitting by the river Ganges when he saw his long serving servant dressed in all whites, fresh clean shirt and dhoti and wearing a white cap walk by him. The servant smiled at him as he passed his master. Gobindo Babu suddenly remembered that his servant had died recently. He called him, “Hey, you died recently, isn’t it? Am I hallucinating?”
“Yes Sir, there is no confusion, I am your deceased servant. I am now a Yamdoot. You see that person taking bath in the river, he will drown in a moment. I have come to take him with me.”
“Do Yamdoot wear such all-white dress? I thought they wear black clothes. You are joking with me.”
“The real Yamdoots wear this white uniform only.”
“You have been with me for many years, I have taken care of all your needs, hope you remember that. Can you do me a favour?”
“Yes Sir, you have been a benevolent master, how can I forget that? What favour do you want?”
“You will let me know in advance when my time on earth is nearing the end.”
“Okay Sir, I will let you know well in advance.” The servant said and took the drowned man with him.
Many years passed, Gobindo Babu, always at peace knowing that his ex-servant will let him know in advance of his death. His wife would often ask him to get the house renovated, or go on a pilgrimage but would always reply, “What’s the hurry, I will do all those things before I die. I am not dying any time soon, so relax.”
One day, Gobindo Babu woke up in the middle of night to find his servant in same white uniform standing by his bed. The servant was smiling at him. “When will you come to take me? I will finish all my pending works by then.” Gobindo Babu asked.
“I have come to take you now.” The servant replied with a smile.
Gobindo Babu got angry at his servant and shouted, “You rascal, didn’t I ask you to tell me in well in advance, the date you come to take me?”
“Sir, it is not upon me to come at will, I can come only when my current master, Yamraj ji orders me. But we did give you notices periodically, you ignored them.”
“When? How?”
“Sir, earlier you could eat anything plateful, but can you now? Then, earlier you never needed a specs for reading or otherwise but now need them badly at all times. You also take a handful of medicines morning-evening; you carry a stick while walking lest you fall down, you huff and puff climbing the stairs. All these are notices only which you ignored and now cursing me when I have come to take you with me at the end of your tenure on mother earth.”
Source: An adaptation of a Bengali short story of same name by renowned and respected author Shri Bimal Kar.
My alma mater, Raisina Bengali School, will be celebrating Centenary on January 2, 2025, my dear friend Ashishh, asked me to write about my days in the school. I asked myself, where do I begin? Actually, it is impossible to write about the days spent in the school in few pages…memories exceed beyond terabytes… so, I decided to write few incidences that have remained imprinted in the mind.
But before that, a bit about my iconic school, Raisina Bengali School… it was Raisina Bengali Higher Secondary School when I joined in Class-IV, later when the 8+3 curriculum was replaced with 10+2, it became Raisina Bengali Senior Secondary School, but more popularly just as Raisina Bengali School… from a single school it now has 3 branches, Senior School at Mandir Marg and C R Park and a Junior School, also at C R Park.
From a humble beginning on January 2, 1925 from a shared space near the Willingdon Hospital (Dr. Ram Manohar Lohia Hospital) to the Baird Lane to the present Mandir Marg is long journey that the school covered. Shri Makhan Lal Mukherjee started the journey with just 57 eager students who were primarily the children of the government officials that moved to Delhi from Calcutta (Kolkata) when the British Govt moved its Capital to New Delhi in 1911. Today, it is one of the prominent English medium senior secondary schools with the CBSE curriculum, contributing wholesomely to the city’s educational space as also ensuring the Bangla is taught as a compulsory language till middle school.
My school is not just an education hub but deeply rooted to the Bengali culture, language and literature. Throughout its journey, the students of the school have not only excelled academically but have spread their wings successfully in the field of sports, entertainment as well as management/ governance. The iconic building of the school at Mandir Marg has been declared as a Heritage Building by the Delhi Govt. I feel extremely proud to be part of such a rich heritage.
I joined the school in class-IV from an English-only kindergarten (nursery) school and it took me some time to adjust. For example, calling my female teachers “AUNTY” instead of “DIDIMONI” drew plenty of teasing from classmates. Soon enough, though, I settled in and became part of a close-knit group that remained fiercely loyal and together until we graduated in 1980.
THE EXTENDED FOOTBALL MATCH
We were in class 8, getting a free period because the subject teacher being on leave and non-availability of an alternative teacher, was rare phenomenon but happened once-in-while. On that fateful day, we got a free third-period and decided to play football. Normally, we would have played at the lower ground of the school premises but that day, someone suggested we go to the ground on the rocks which was quite a distance from the school premises.
Football runs in the vein of Bongs, we can play it anytime, anywhere, in any conditions for many hours together. It was no exception that day either, we played for hours, oblivious to the ‘bell’ announcing the end/beginning of a class. We even forgot about the recess and continued playing till we were exhausted. One of us, and if I am not mistaken, Amit Mukherjee went back to have water (there wasn’t any concept of water bottles then) and was ‘caught’ by our revered Shyamal Sir (Shri S. Roy Chowdhury). A twist of his ear and palm mark of Shyamal Sir on his cheek was enough for him to spill the beans. A “good boy” was sent to fetch us. We came back like a herd of sheep and received the same treatment from Shyamal Sir. The collective punishment often bonds the students in brotherhood and it was no different, for us it was a battle scar that we proudly remember and often reminiscence.
THE GHOSTLY BIOLOGY LAB
Before the new Science block came in existence, the biology lab used to be next to the watercoolers and somehow gave us jitters whenever we passed by it, maybe, because of the skeleton (real) and a number of jars of formalin solution containing different species. Barring the brilliant guys with scientific bent of mind, we generally avoided going there but when we were in class IX, it became mandatory to attend the practical classes in the lab. In one such class, Ashishh, Atish and I were a team dissecting a frog and failing miserably. On top of it, our table was next to the skeleton, we were focussing more on it than the assignment on hand.
Suddenly, Ashishh whispered, “Did you see that”?
“What?” Atish and I asked simultaneously.
“The skeleton… it moved.” Ashishh replied, his voice wavered in unknown fear.
We would have run from there but Atish and I had an inquisitive mind and principal member of the “detective club” called We Investigate Anything (WIA), so we looked closer and indeed the hand of the skeleton was in motion, though slow, it was winter days with no source of wind inside the classroom. We were scared to death and slowly started moving out from our station. The group next to us looked at us questioningly and when we revealed, they also started to walkout, soon it became a pandemonium, none of us were willing to continue in the lab. The lab assistant, Dulari Sir had a harrowing time controlling the herd of students.
“There’s a ghost…the skeleton has come alive and moving.” Ashishh blurted out.
Dulari Sir laughed aloud and said, “Come with me and show me what you saw.”
With much reluctance we went with him to our table and pointed to the hand of the skeleton. Lo and behold, it moved again. We screamed together, “Gho…os…ttt”
Dulari Sir ignoring our screams, went ahead and shook the hand of the skeleton. PHATT, came the sound of a pebble hitting the floor… we could see an overturned beetle lying on the floor. Dulari Sir laughed hysterically at our stupidity. Narayan Sir (Shri N. C. Mukherjee), our biology teacher mockingly hailed us “the brave trio”. It became a running joke for the rest of our school days.
ENCOUNTER OF DIFFERENT KIND
Sanyal Sir (Shri B. Sanyal), our English teacher was a terror for the students across classes. As junior students, we used to avoid going anywhere near him, not knowing which action of ours would bring his wrath upon us. As luck would have it, he became our class-teacher when were in class-X, we dreaded our first meeting with him.
After the roll call, he asked us to introduce ourselves. Our timid voice did not reach him. He roared, “Haven’t you guys eaten anything? Speak up loudly, I can’t hear you.”
Once the introduction was over, he said, “My teaching style is different, I won’t make you rote learn the course but make you love the language. Let me see, what level of English you guys know. Tell me the meaning of the “Gunny Bag”. There was pin-drop silence in the class, no one dared to venture an answer. He looked at Biswanath and asked, “You tell me.” Bishu mumbled incoherently which enraged him immensely, he got up from his chair walking up to Bishu, ready to thrash him when a voice from another corner said, “Bosta” (Bengali for sack). He turned around to see the voice but all lips were sealed by then. A few unfortunate classmates received his wrath that morning but thereafter he mellowed down and became really fond of us. He would go on to shield us from the higher ups for all our sins. He became particularly fond of Atish and me… often referring us as the twins lost in Kumbh mela. I vividly remember his guidance after the “gunny bag” incidence wherein he told us, “Stop thinking in Bangla and then answering in English. Start thinking in English if you want to master both the spoken and written language.” It became a mantra for me.
Another teacher who inspired and shaped my personae was our Principal Shri A. N. Banerjee. He very early on, realized that the students were intelligent and bright, but they lack the confidence of public speaking. He ruled that each and every student must speak on any subject in their preferred language for 5 minutes during the assembly. The initiative helped many of my peers in later days of their career.
I must also mention here of Tiwari Sir (Shri P. G. Tiwari) who has been a father figure during my school days. I have never seen him getting angry even when we made silly mistakes or have been raucous in the class. His premature passing away left a big void for the school as well as for the students.
The other teachers that left a lasting impression on me are Prasanta Sir (Shri P. Roy Chowdhury) for his patience and humbleness. He made me love the subject through his unique way of teaching.
As I progressed to higher classes, I became scared of maths and my grades dropped consistently. Shyamal Sir (Shri S. Roy Chowdhury), came to my rescue spending hours with me to help me get over my fears of mathematics. His untiring tutoring propelled me take the subject in college as well as clear the exams with good marks.
THE HOLI INCIDENT
We were in class-XI and exams round the corner as well as the festival of colours, HOLI. Our Principal, Amarnath Sir, during the assembly barred us from playing with colours in the school premises. If he hadn’t said so, we would not have given any thoughts about it but now the rebel inside us woke up and we decided to defy the order. A day before the Holi, Bishu (Bishwanath) brought packets of ABIR (Gulal or coloured powder); during the recess time, the entire class including the girls were plastered in myriad hues of ABIR. Our best efforts to wash them before returning to the class did not work, we all looked like an army of monkeys.
Someone must have complained to the Principal Sir; cane in hand, he stormed into our class and marched us to his chamber.
“Didn’t I tell you not to play with colors in the school premises?”
“Yes” we said.
“Then why did you do it?”
Silence.
“Who brought the colours?” he asked losing his patience.
Silence again.
“I am asking you again, who brought the colours?”
“The colours were with me.” This time Bishwanath spoke up.
Amarnath Sir ignoring his answer, repeated his question and Bishwanath kept replying that the colours were with him. This continued for a while.
We all received canings, but not one of us broke the code of silence. That day, we truly understood the meaning of OMERTA—the brotherhood of silence—and the importance of phrasing questions correctly to get the right answers.
THE DIWALI EXPLOSION
We hadn’t forgotten the HOLI punishment at the hands of our principal, Shri A. N. Banerjee Sir and in our last academic year (class XII Commerce) decided to leave a lasting impression of our mischief. In the morning assembly before the Diwali holidays, he prohibited use of crackers including bombs during school hours. During the recess, few of us went to the nearby market and bought the crackers.
In Classes XI and XII, students could opt for either Mathematics or Bengali. This meant that one group often had a free period while the other was in class. On that chosen day, the Bengali group was in class, and we—the Mathematics group—had a free period after recess. Perfect conditions for our plan.
We discussed our strategy and promised ourselves that none of us would get caught this time. All the bombs (crackers) were perfectly timed by removing some of the gunpowder from the fuselage ensuring that we were not in the vicinity when it exploded.
As we were placing the first one on the windowsill of the toilet adjacent to the Principal Sir’s chamber, Tiwari Sir caught us. Instead of reprimanding us, he was more concerned that the bomb would explode on our face!!
The last one was placed on top of the nameplate outside the Principal Sir’s chamber… when it exploded, we were in deep discussion with Sanyal Sir near the Science Block. He smiled and said, “I know, who did this but your secrets are safe with me.”
In all, more than a dozen bomb exploded at different locations within the school. We chose the spots carefully to avoid anyone getting hurt. The Principal Sir was convinced of our involvement in the cracker explosions but could not prove it. The concept of OMERTA prevailed.
DISCLAIMER
The mischievous incidents described here should not be taken too seriously. They were merely youthful pranks. We respected our teachers deeply then, and we still do now. Without their guidance, patience, and love, we might never have realized our potential. Instead of becoming wayward vagabonds, we grew into capable adults—thanks in no small part to the teachers and the environment at Raisina Bengali School.
My mum used to make veg sandwiches, chop cucumber n tomatoes and spread butter on bread on the same cutting board with the same knife, but we didn’t seem to get food poisoning.
Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers and stayed that way till lunchtime but I can’t remember anyone getting e Coli
We dipped our feet in lakes and ponds and didnt come home half dead with infection.
We all took P.T….. And risked permanent injury with a pair of white keds from Batas, instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors that cost as much as a small car. I can’t recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now if we spend thousands on branded running shoes
We got a slap at home for doing something wrong at school, they used to call it discipline, yet we all grew up to accept the rules and to honour & respect those older than us.
We chanted the mathematics tables, learned to read and write, do maths and spell almost all the words needed to write a grammatically correct letter……., FUNNY THAT!!
We all said prayers in school irrespective of our religion, or sang the national anthem and no one got upset.
Staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention and we tried not to mention it at home.
I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.
I just can’t recall how bored we were without smart phones, computers, Play Station, Nintendo, Facebook, Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram, YouTube, etc. X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations. We weren’t!!
Oh yeah … And where were the antibiotics and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting or bruised our knee? I could even have been killed!
We played catch or cricket on vacant sites and when we got hurt, mum pulled out the bottle of iodine or Dettol and we dreaded the sting or then it was calendula and mercury chrome.
Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10 day dose of antibiotics and then mum calls the lawyer to sue the site owner for not putting up a fence.
To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?
We never needed to get into group therapy and/or anger management classes. If there was ever anything psychologically wrong with us there were ten people at home waiting to tell us.
We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn’t even notice that the entire country wasn’t taking Prozac!
How did we ever survive?
LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA. AND TO ALL WHO DIDN’T, SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN’T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING!
We have been celebrating Diwali at our home in Delhi as far back as I remember; even when we relocated to Hyderabad, we always came back to Delhi around Durga Puja and stayed till Bhaiduj celebrating Diwali including having card parties at home. This year was different, we decided to celebrate Ayush & Rajashree’s first Diwali after marriage at their new home in Bengaluru.
Bengaluru Calling
We arrived at the airport well in time and were through with security check in a jiffy courtesy the Digiyatra app. We had two hours to kill before boarding the Air India flight to Bengaluru, Deepika suggested we check into the lounge, I must mention here that I never visit the lounge when travelling solo because (a) I am not sure the credit card that I hold will allow me and (b) my secret hobby of watching people and creating story around them… all in my mind.
Anyways, we checked into the Encalm Lounge and had our breakfast, read the newspaper before boarding the aircraft. The flight was on time and the aircraft, brand new or maybe newly refurbished, whatever it be, the experience was nice.
We landed in Bengaluru at 12:35 pm and immediately received the call from the driver of the hired cab stating that he was 10 minutes away from pick-up point. It was fine with us because we knew it would take at least 25-30 minutes for us to reach the designated spot picking our bags. Moreover, we were not in a hurry because Ayush & Rajashree were out on some work and would not reach home before 2/2:30 pm. They had left a key under the doormat just in case we reach before them which under the circumstances was highly possible.
We reached the pickup point much before the cab appeared and were soon on our way, the google map indicated 2:45 pm as ETA, keeping in perspective the Bengaluru traffic. In Bengaluru, courtesy Deepika’s dear friend Moushumi, we have a dedicated taxi service for airport pickup and drop, the person Nissar Pasha is quite dependable in this matter.
We arrived at Sobha Royal Pavillion, Hadosiddapura, off Sarjapur-Marathahalli Main Road at 2:40 pm. While at Delhi airport, Deepika realized that she had forgotten her ‘mouse’ at home and felt constrained without it, so, I had ordered for one at Amazon app which promised same day delivery. While we were near the complex, the app confirmed that it was delivered but did not elaborate to whom or where? We assumed, it must be at the security gate because the kids were not back. I checked with the security at the gate for any package from Amazon but none could be found, I was worried. The cab dropped us at the entrance of the block. Reaching the 18th floor, I spotted a package lying at the door of their apartment and to my relief it was the desired one from Amazon.
The apartment was spic-n-span, everything in place where it is meant to be, clearly a work of Rajashree. We loved it. More than half my suitcase had stuffs meant for the kids, so, I immediately unpacked and took out their stuff keeping them systematically on their bed, hoping to impress Rajashree, matching her organising skill. After some time, they came home, after the family hugging and reunion, they checked their presents and loved them, we have thoughtfully chosen the items.
In the evening, Deepika and I went to see Moushumi at Bellandur, close to where we were but it still took us 25 minutes, thanks to Bengaluru traffic. But that evening, Delhi+NCR was equally notorious, my bro-in-law called up while we were going and said that he was stuck in Noida for almost an hour due to heavy congestion.
Moushumi, was super busy with impending Kali Puja at her complex and the Diwali celebrations but still took out time to entertain us. We spent an hour with her, enjoying some amazing veg sandwiches and chicken kebabs with zero sugar, zero calorie soft drinks. She invited us to join her for the Kali Puja on the Diwali night.
We came home and had a simple dinner before calling it a day. Having got up very early in the morning, I was exhausted and needed to sleep.
The IKEA Experience
The Saturday was dedicated to IKEA; being in consumer marketing all my career, I have a particular liking for IKEA, the way they display their products and the ease of accessibility of the items for the customer is something desired of all retailers. We have purchased from their Hyderabad as well as Bengaluru outlet previously and can vouch for the quality. This time around, we did not have anything particular in mind, just thought of picking up something for gifting purposes.
Ayush and Rajashree went for the gym asking us to be ready by 10 am to leave immediately when they come back. I made egg sandwiches for Ayush and me and cheese sandwiches for Deepika and Rajashree. Breakfast is a must for me because of my medication. They came back while I was enjoying my coffee and freshened up quickly. I forced them to have their sandwiches before leaving.
Ayush-Rajashree’s home is in the south-eastern part of Bengaluru while IKEA is at the north-western part, just in the opposite end of the city, a 43 km drive taking 1:20 hours on a good day. The google map indicated 1:45 minutes through Hosa Road and then the NICE Ring Road, it showed the distance of 57 km but faster than the other route through Sarjapur-Marathahalli Main Road and then the NH44. Rajashree decided to drive, she wanted to practice driving an automatic and what better than this long drive. The initial part of the route had really narrow and broken roads making us wonder at the wisdom of Google Map, however, once we were on the ring road, Rajashree drove like a pro and did not cause us, in the rear seat, any reason to panic. It took us little over 2 hours to reach IKEA.
Typically. IKEA outlets are minimalist construction of three floors, ground being the parking area, first is the market place and cafeteria while the second floor is the experience centre. The layout is very similar both at Hyderabad as well as in Bengaluru, I don’t know how it is in Navi Mumbai. Eagerly waiting for them to open up in the north at Noida and Gurugram… I have reason to believe that Noida is going to open sometime next year and will be huge including a mall and a hotel as part of the project, strategically located between the metro stations of sector 50 and 51.
We went through the experience centre quickly as what we had in mind were small items which can be picked up from the market place. We went to the café for lunch, picking up their famed chicken balls and some fries, we avoided the very inviting desserts to cut down on sugar. We paired our food with unlimited fill of infused carbonated water.
I particularly wanted to pick up few ‘foldable shopping bags’ that are very useful gifts but sadly they were out-of-stock. We picked up few Knick knacks for home and few small items for gifting purposes. Ayush bought a set of glass tumblers that I liked but the logistics did not permit me to buy. By the time we were done, it was past 4 pm and time to rush back home before the evening rush of traffic on the weekend before Diwali. We were expected home in 2 hours as per Google Map but the Bengaluru traffic thought otherwise and we finally reached home well past 7:30 pm, taking more than 3 hours.
My cousin’s daughter lives in Bengaluru (Koramangala) and my cousin along with her husband has been there in Bengaluru since end-September scheduled to go back to Kolkata the following morning. I had planned a dinner with her at the Nagarjuna, Koramangala. We had their famous veg thali and ordered few non-veg items on the side. It felt really good meeting her, my brother-in-law and niece after a long time.
I forgot to mention that Rajashree and I had a very invigorating moments with Smokey and Milo, two lovely Golden Retrievers, when we reached back from IKEA. Both the kids are very fond of dogs and I am sure, going forward, they will have a furry baby of their own.
Pottery Day
It was a Sunday and Rajashree had marked it for a visit to the pottery studio and try our hands in it. I had promised them to cook mutton for them and accordingly meat was ordered from Licious. While they were at the gym, we ordered breakfast from Vedham, a Karnataka style South Indian eatery. Also, marinated the mutton with all the ingredients except oil for a one-pot mutton curry. While marinating, I realised, they don’t have a proper vessel to cook 1kg mutton, the pressure cooker is only a good enough for half kg. I wanted to order a bigger pressure cooker from Blinkit but based on Deepika’s advice ended up with a pressure cooker that already exists. I called up the customer service and requested for the exchange and they agreed to take it back and refund the money. I ordered a 5-litre pressure cooker which was delivered in less than 10 minutes, probably their warehouse was close-by.
Ayush and Rajashree are on a diet program that has restriction on daily oil/ ghee/ butter consumption, so I asked Ayush to measure and put the oil in the marination. He measured 2 tbsp of mustard oil and poured it in the container. I had earlier cooked chicken without (practically) oil in a microwave oven, so was confident that it would come out nice and good to eat, the challenge was the miniscule use of spices, for the kids are averse to spicy food. Without being modest, the mutton curry that day was one of my finest creations!!!
The Jumbo Pottery Studio, on the Sarjapur-Marathahalli Main Road is run by three friends, a spacious planned floor with tables for hand moulding as well as pottery wheels. It is where Rajashree is learning pottery on the weekends and have mastered the art quite well. She taught us to wedge the clay, the first step of pottery to take out air pockets. It took a little time before the three of us could do it to her satisfaction. We were asked to handcraft figures as per our choice and the teacher (as usual, I have forgotten her name) suggested that we check the ‘pinterest’ and choose an image for the purpose. Deepika decided to make a plate/tray, Rajashree decided on a set of cats, Ayush decided to make a dog and named it Ruffles, I decided to invoke the Almighty, trying my hand at creating a Ganesha idol. I ended up making two Ganesha idols and a small Shiva Lingam, I don’t know if they will survive the baking process… will get to know their fate in early December when the kids are due to come to Delhi.
The next course was using the wheel to create a bowl/ tumbler and I must confess that I failed miserably, making Rajashree very angry maybe because she had placed high hopes on my success. Deepika, with the help of the teacher, made two nice bowls and Rajashree created a nice tumbler. The father-son duo ended up with nothing to show. However, the whole experience was exhilarating and thoroughly enjoyable. Many thanks and blessings to Rajashree for insisting and taking us there to actually experience the process. The owner/ teacher of the pottery studio fosters 2 beautiful dogs, a labrador named Mala and a Shih Tzu. Mala is young, 7 months old and extremely energetic and playful.
In the evening, Deepika made aloo-gobi ki sabji using minimal oil and chapatis and we had quite dinner at home. After dinner, we sat and chatted for some time before calling it a day.
Pondicherry Calling
Deepika was very eager to visit the Aurobindo Ashram in Pondicherry being an ardent follower of Sri Aurobindo and Mother. Initially, we thought of hiring a cab from Bengaluru for a one-day visit but the cost of transportation plus the hotel stay for a day was coming very high, putting us in a dilemma. But Mother and Rishi Aurobindo had other ideas and we were offered a complimentary stay at the Hotel Promenade, courtesy the effort of Priya, our niece. And Ayush offered his VW Taigun for driving down to Pondicherry (Puducherry).
So, on Monday morning, Deepika and I left for Pondicherry around 7 am for a 5:30 hour, 310 km journey. I was not sure of the road condition but believed that we can do it max in 6/6.5 hours. The road condition within the city limits of Bengaluru were below par with potholes and for some strange reason, the road, every 300-400 metres were dotted with ‘tabletop’ speed breakers… when the road condition do not allow you to go beyond 20-30 kmph what’s the point of such speed breakers? Anyways, we were soon on the NH44 driving towards Chennai but knew somewhere ahead we will be guided to another route that’s faster through a forested area and then joining the NH77 straight to Pondicherry. Though, the 80 odd km stretch of the forested road was narrow, only two lanes, it was devoid of traffic, so we had a smooth ride driving in the vicinity of nearly 100 kmph. Ayush had changed his tyres to Micheline and filled then with nitrogen gas, the result was a noiseless drive all along.
Once we hit the NH77, we looked for an eatery and found a Saravana Bhawan franchise where we had our breakfast of Masala Dosa and filter coffee before continuing our journey.
The road had become wider, 4-lane, so I eased on the gas to accelerate, it was a scenic road and tempted me to stop and take few pictures but we had an urgency of reaching our destination…Deepika wanted to visit the Auroville, 16 km from away from Pondicherry in the state of Tamil Nadu. Though it was not possible to get a permit for a visit to Matri Mandir at such a short notice (usually, it takes anywhere between 7 to 15 days advance planning, sometimes even more), we could at least see it from the outside between 2 to 5 pm. Last time, some 10-12 years back when we visited, it was under renovation and inaccessible.
We checked into our rooms, quite spacious and clean but definitely needed upgradation. We were treated with a welcome drink, red in colour, of unknown ingredients but quite refreshing. We decided to hire a cab for the Auroville so that I can relax a bit, moreover, finding a parking space in the evening may become challenging. We had a quick lunch of sandwiches at The Blueline restaurant before leaving for Auroville. I have been specifically told not to comment on the hotel but can’t help pointing out that the staff needs a thorough hard grind training in servicing the customer. I had asked for a simple egg sandwich and was served a vegetable sandwich, when pointed out, it was taken back without an apology and then the actual sandwich appeared after 20-25 minutes when we were contemplating to leave without having it. The coffee which we asked to be served after our sandwiches came first!!
The drive to the Auroville was uneventful, the driver knew only Tamil and workable English but quite enthusiastic in keeping us engaged through constant titbits about the places and also pointing out some places of interest. He took us as far as he could drive inside so that we have minimal walk. We took our passes from the counter, the guy pointed out the way and specifically asked us not to follow the road marking as that is a long winding road with occasional vehicular traffic. The walk through the forested path was nice and energised us from our lethargy. The Matri Mandir viewing point is quite nicely done with natural photo-booths to take pictures of the Matri Mandir, landscape as well as selfies. The landscaping around the temple is still undergoing, an artificial lake surrounding the temple is being constructed as per the last wishes of Mother.
We spent some time at the viewing point, taking few pictures then walked back to the entrance to take the free bus ride to the reception and the parking where our driver, Muthuraj was waiting for us. On our way we stopped at the Auroville Bakery to pick up some cookies and cake. We instructed the driver to take us to the Aurobindo Ashram.
When I last visited the Ashram, the place was very quiet with few people around but now the entire road has been demarcated as vehicle free, only e-vehicles are allowed to drop off aged and physically challenged people. The cab dropped us at the entrance of the street in front of Auroshikha, a shop merchandising incense sticks, candles, handmade paper items and other stuff made by the inmates of the ashram. The proceed from the sale of such items are used for nurturing the ashram inmates. Deepika bought a bunch of incense sticks and candles for self as well as for gifting. On the opposite side of the road was another outlet for books written by Aurobindo and Mother as well as books on them by distinguished literally persons, it had an array of books in multiple languages besides other artifacts and talisman of the Ashram.
We left our purchases in the car and walked to the ashram. Earlier, they had a place inside the premises to keep the shoes of the visitors but now with the inflow of large number of devotees, the shoe rack has not only become large but has been kept outside near the building housing the ashramites. I am a free soul not bound by any ritualistic practice but still went with Deepika who kneeled down at the Samadhi of Rishi Aurobindo to pray. She also donated a sum of money to the trust and we spent some time near the Samadhi with others coming from across the globe and culture, it had a calming effect not describable in words.
We were dropped off near the hotel as the road leading to the hotel has become inaccessible due to the regulations. We had tea and the cookies bought from Auroville Bakery and relaxed for somewhile. Later, walked to the main market on the Jawaharlal Nehru Street, approx. 900 metres from the hotel. Our destination was the Hidesign shops (Flagship as well as Factory Outlet) specialising in leather products. The Hidesign is owned by Deepika’s cousin and we were expecting some discounts on our purchases, she had been referred to a person at the shop by her cousin but the lady had called it a day and gone home. We checked both the shops and shortlisted few items of interest and promised to come back first thing in the morning when they opened at 9 am.
We had our dinner at the rooftop restaurant named, Bay of Buddha, serving Pan-Asian cuisine. While we were waiting for our food, it started drizzling but we were saved by the canopy over our head, some diners choosing to enjoy their food under the open sky were not so lucky and had to relocate under the canopies or in some cases their food was covered up while they stood under cover.
In the morning, we got ready for the day and packed up our bags as well which had inflated with our purchases of the previous evening. On our way back from the market, we located a big outlet of Anand Adyar Bhawan (A2B) and decided to have our breakfast there, it is always advisable that one should go for the local delicacies rather than standard hotel offerings. But first we headed to the Hidesign store to pick up the items that we had kept reserved. I particularly wanted to buy a laptop sleeve for my HP 13-inch laptop; the one that I wanted was available in Delhi as well as online stores but the price was high without any discount, here I hoped to get it at a reasonable price, and I wasn’t disappointed by the discount given by the AGM of Hidesign. We, mostly bought items for gifting for Diwali and Bhaiduj. The breakfast at the A2B, was average but much cheaper than Delhi. The shop was extremely crowded with Diwali shoppers, we quickly finished our food and left for the hotel. On the way, Deepika went to the Ashram once more while I waited outside guarding our shopping bags. We also visited the house where her aunt used to live, it is being converted into a heritage hotel soon to open to public. It was nostalgic for her as she had fond memories of spending time with her. I too have memories about the house… I had visited her as the bearer of Deepika’s letter to her before our marriage, not knowing that she wanted her aunt’s approval of me and I passed the test with my charm.
We left for Bengaluru around noon after settling our account with hotel expecting to reach home latest by 6 pm keeping in mind the heavy traffic we would face approaching the city. We tanked up in Pondicherry itself as the petrol price was cheaper than Tamil Nadu and Karnataka, the two states we have to travel through. The route we took was different from the one we had taken to reach our hotel because of the traffic restrictions, it was wider and less crowded, we cruised at a decent speed of 80-90kmph and soon joined the NH77 where we looked for an outlet to have coffee and use the restroom. Anudhinam, Milk Sweets looked to be the place and we stopped there to have coffee. It was a sweet shop and confectionery on the highway, the signage outside the shop requested the patrons to leave their shoes and chappals outside. We had our filter coffee and a slice of chocolate cake, also picked up 250gm of milk sweets for Ayush and Rajashree.
The traffic increased significantly on the NH44, especially as we crossed Hosur on our way to Bengaluru. The Google Map, failed to specifically instruct me to take the service road and I kept driving on to the flyover missing the turn towards Sarjapur. I had shared the live location with Ayush and he got worried but I assured him that there was another turn after about 4 km that would guide us back to the Sarjapur-Marathahalli Main Road. In hindsight, it was a good mistake as the road, though narrow and serpentine, was in much better shape saving us the potholed road that we used while going. We reached Sobha Royal Pavillion exactly at 5:45 pm marking an end to a fulfilling getaway.
We were surprised to find a big bag in our room… Diwali gift from the kids, a set of two porcelain dinner plates and a teapot with infuser and two tumblers to enjoy the tea, a very personal and thoughtful gift from the Bacchas. I told Ayush that if he had indicated this earlier, I would have picked up the glass tumblers from IKEA that I liked so much. He just laughed and said that they decided on it while we were gone.
The Roxie Encounter
The previous evening at the dinner table, Rajashree asked if I would be interested in meeting Roxie, the Pitbull pup being fostered by their gym owner, dogs and I have special bonds irrespective of their lineage and I eagerly waited to meet her. Rajashree had gone to the gym early in the morning and confirmed the presence of Roxie at the gym, Ayush dropped me there on his way to the office.
It was decided to bring her home for couple of hours, it would test out if Rajashree is ready for adopting a pet and also if I am fit enough to manage and train a pup again. The owner told Rajashree that she had fed Roxie and her next meal would be in the evening again, in between we are not to feed her. I walked Roxie at the parking area where she pee-ed and we were on our way, Roxie feeling comfortable on my lap.
Once inside the apartment, I put her down and freed her from the leash. Roxie roamed the entire apartment going from room to room and was most interested to check the balcony but I did not let her go because she might have slipped through the gaps between the railings, down eighteen floors. Deepika, despite spending 14 wonderful years with Rolf is still skeptical about dogs but Roxie decided to be with her only sitting next to her.
I engaged with Roxie playing with her, she started running around (zoomies) in a game of “catch me if you can”, I could barely keep pace with her energy. She is at an age where she’s teething and wants to bite everything, just like what Rolf used to do at this age. Every time she bit me, I gently slapped her face and told her that the mouth is for eating not biting, after some time she understood, or so we thought. She started sniffing around walking around the rooms and went to the kid’s bedroom and could no longer hold her stomach. It was very foul-smelling potty which I had to clean up; doing so, I washed up some of my sins. We ordered a toy from Blinkit which Roxie liked immensely getting very possessive of it. Deepika made some buttermilk which Rajashree fed her. Roxie finished the makeshift bowl of butter milk in seconds and was askance for more.
It was a work day for Rajashree, so, once she was a bit free, we went to drop Roxie back at the gym. On the way she slept snoring loudly on my lap!!
Toit, the micro-brewery pub has opened a new outlet in the same complex as Ayush’s office, in the evening we took a cab there for dinner. Ayush came from office and we had a very intimate family outing enjoying the open-air seating and the beverages with snacks.
Celebrating Diwali
Even though, it was a holiday for everyone, the gym was open and the kids did not want to miss out, so, they went ahead while Deepika and I took a cab to Moushumi’s place for breakfast at the MTR outlet in Bellandur. I ordered my usual dishes, Idli-Vada combo followed by Rawa Masala Dosa and must say that those were some of the bests I had so far. We got Idli and Vada packed for the kids too.
On our way back, we picked up some diyas and coloured powder with the sieve for making Rangoli. In the evening, Rajashree made beautiful Rangolis showcasing her creative side while Ayush lit the diyas at the balcony and Puja Mandap.
Deepika made the Bhog for Laxmi Puja while I acted as her sous chef by cutting the vegetables. I also made ‘Shinni’, a preparation of wheat flour, milk, sugar and banana, usually made as a prasad during Satyanarayan Katha, on special request of Rajashree. It came out yummilusciously creamy and even Ayush, who otherwise has reservations about it, liked the Shinni.
After the Laxmi Puja, we had our dinner of the Bhog and later visited Moushumi’s home for the Ma Kali Puja at her residential complex. We spent some time at the puja and later at her home.
Penultimate Day
It was our last day with the kids, it was also a state holiday for celebrating Karnataka Day, both the kids were relaxed and took time to wake up. It was also homemade Dosa Breakfast Day, I made the ‘masala’ the aloo sabji while Deepika made the Dosa using a pack of MTR Multigrain Dosa that she had carried from Delhi. The multigrain dosa is a hot favourite of Ayush and he enjoyed them thoroughly.
It was also the day for making Prawn Malay Curry as promised, Ayush ordered the prawns from Licious before going to the gym. I prepared the ingredients while waiting the prawns and once it was delivered, washed them and marinated using turmeric and chilli powder with a little bit of salt.
While they were at the gym toning up their physic, I made the Prawn Malay Curry and was very happy with the result. By now, I have made it numerous times improving the texture and taste each time. Ayush had ordered extra quantity so that they can enjoy it the following day as well. Deepika made ‘Tomato Paneer’, a signature dish of hers for the kids to enjoy later. In the evening, I had a small peg of Single Malt with Ayush as company, though I have given up on alcohol. I don’t recall the name but it was a smooth drink and I enjoyed it after a long-long time. Before that, the kids went to wish Diwali greetings to their neighbour while Deepika and I went down to take a walk within the complex. Most of the buildings are ready but few are still at various stages of construction, hopefully should be ready by next year. Although, Ayush says that the no activity is happening at the Clubhouse, looking at it we felt, the clubhouse will be ready for use by the time the under-construction buildings are completed.
Post dinner, we chatted and watched television before retiring for the day. Ayush sent a reminder message to Nissar Pasha for airport drop in the morning.
Adieu Bengaluru
We were ready to leave for the airport by 7 am but there was no sign of the cab, I was getting restless and asked Ayush to check the status. The driver confirmed that he’s reaching in 5 minutes. However, even after 15 minutes or so, there was no sign of him, so Ayush called Nissar who to our horror had misread the message and sent the cab to the airport instead of Sobha Royal Pavillion. He tried arranging another cab but they all were at a distance and would have taken at least 30-40 minutes to reach which we could not afford. Deepika suggested, we book Uber but Ayush insisted on dropping us at the airport. To our pleasant surprise, the roads were devoid of traffic and we reached the airport in record time of only 1.5 hours. We bade them goodbyes and went inside, anxious about the weight of the luggage which were bit above combined allowance of 30kg. in addition, we had two large cabin bags as well. However, to our relief, the counter guy at Indigo check-in allowed our slightly over-weight baggage, maybe because we were the first ones to check-in.
We went to Amex lounge to wait for the boarding call and had our breakfast as well. Ayush and Rajashree took even less time going back home.
The flight was on time and we landed at T-1 of IGIA around 3:30 pm and was home by 5:00 pm after buying vegetables on the way for the Bhaiduj scheduled the next day. Later, in the evening, I made Chicken Black Pepper in White Sauce, my own recipe and signature dish for my siblings and their kids.
Recently I watched a short video clip on environment by a Bangladeshi scholar who echoed my thoughts and more… And at that moment (around 1:30 am) I decided to pen down my take on the subject.
WE ARE CURRENTLY WITNESSING SIXTH MASS EXTINCTION ON EARTH AND ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING TO STOP OR REVERSE IT. VERY SOON IT WILL BE OUR TURN!!!
The approx. age of Mother Earth is 4.5 billion years and, in this period, it has already witnessed mass extinction of living beings 5 times. Mass Extinction happens when 75% of the living beings are wiped out from the face of the earth. The last mass extinction happened some 65-66 million when dinosaurs, mammoth and few thousand other living organism went extinct, apparently due to asteroid collision.
According to many scientists in the field, we are experiencing 6th mass extinction. It is quite natural that few species would vanish from the face of earth due to atmospheric reason but right now, in the last 30-50 years, the process of extinction of species is happening at an exaggerated pace of 100x or 1000x times. Why and how?
Let me explain… if you think that the mother earth belongs to the humans alone, then you are fundamentally wrong. The earth belongs to all right from the micro organisms at the bottom of ocean to the whales, dolphins, millions of fishes to the land animals, birds and insects besides humans. Even the green plants in your house pots to the big trees in the jungle, all have equal share of mother earth. However, we humans have cornered almost 70% of land and potable water for our own use leaving the 30% for the rest of the creatures. This started sometime in the Seventies and has continued unabated… as per research and studies, based on the available natural resources on the earth, approx. 3.5 billion humans can be comfortably accommodated without disbalancing the equilibrium of the nature. In the early 70’s, the earth had recorded human population to be around 3.5 billion or the threshold level. In 1968, Prof. Paul Aldrich of Stanford University published a book called Population Bomb wherein he predicted few dooms day events in case the human population exceed beyond 3.5 billion… few of those have come true and we circumvented the others. Coming back to the point, with the unprecedented increase in human numbers, unhindered growth of the cultivated land, massive scale of urbanization, industrial growth, vehicular traffic etc. have robbed the other species of their rightful existence. Some hundred years ago, we were close to the nature, living in villages with accommodation sufficient to our needs and not wants, cohabiting with birds, animals and insects, and surviving together, but somehow the need got replaced with the wants and we the humans started expanding our living quarters exponentially throwing out the rest of the species.
Today, in circa 2024, the world human population exceeds 8 billion and still growing while the other species are shrinking. The human population has more than doubled in the last 50 years, which is much faster than the growth over the previous thousands of years put together. We have pushed the other species to the brink of extinction silently… the animals in the jungle or the living beings in the ocean can’t speak and doesn’t know how to protest but we humans can but we have chosen to maintain silence on the issue. Why? Because it is convenient for us, humans… more the numbers… more business opportunities and profits. We are the greediest species on the earth. We think we are the smartest and therefore the earth belongs to us… to expand we have done massive deforestation, created and used weapons of mass destructions without thinking about the future. What have we achieved? Nothing really, all superficial… we have ensured drastic change in the weather patterns due to global warming… the glaciers that used to be the lifeline for all the living things on earth have shrunk greatly and it is a matter of few hundred years that they will be gone completely ensuring the hastening of the 6th Mass Extinction on the earth. It has not sunk in yet, that with our so-called super intelligence, without potable water and clean breathable air, we will meet the same fate as the other species, we too shall perish, gone forever.
I am particularly worried about my country, India… we have become the most populous country in the world. I do not find it to be a proud achievement… as a matter of fact, we have limited land, potable water and other resources which probably is good for 0.8 billion people and just sufficient for 1 billion people but we have grown to 1.44 billion as of 2024 and still growing. In the last 10 years we have grown at 11% and 35% since the beginning of this century. There’s an urgent need to address this population explosion cutting across the politics, religion, caste lines.
I am in the last cycle of life, my generation or the generation next have not taken significant steps to reverse or stop this mayhem but I have hope in the youngsters around the world to listen to the screams of the less fortunate species and extend their hands to help them. I also have immense faith in MOTHER NATURE and her sense of fairness in maintaining equilibrium.
QUICKER WE REALISE, THE BETTER, THAT WE HAVE ONLY THIS PLANET EARTH TO CALL HOME NOT JUST OURS BUT THAT OF MILLIONS OF OTHER LIVING THINGS… WE MUST LEARN TO COHABIT PEACEFULLY. BEING A SUPERIOR SPECIE, IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILTY TO STOP THE DESTRUCTION.
On 29th April 2023 at 10:27 am Rolf Adenauer Bhattacharya crossed over the rainbow bridge to reach Baikunthadham, his final resting place. I earnestly hope he finds eternal bliss in the abode of Madhav. Lots of love and hugs to my baby…
I have earlier written about how Rolf came into our life… but just to recapture, I am stating it again briefly.
Sometime around this time in the year 2009, Ayush, my son announced that he wants a pet dog and specifically said he doesn’t want the most common pedigree Labrador or Golden Retriever or GSD. Deepika, my wife was totally against the idea as she was mortally scared of the dogs because of a childhood incident. I am a certified dog lover and dogs whether pet or street, loves me back. It took some amount of reasoning and more cajoling to turn her around and we started looking for a suitable one. In this endeavor, a family friend helped a lot. We visited a few breeders but were disappointed as most of them had the ones that we were not interested. It was a Saturday afternoon that we were searching the internet for apartment friendly breeds and I zeroed on Chowchow, a medium sized dog, a bit lazy with shiny long coat of fur. The breed required minimum exercise. A note of caution was its aggressive snappy temperament. I was 99% certain that such a breed will not be found in Delhi. So, when my friend called up a breeder in South Extension and asked if he has a Chowchow puppy and the answer came back affirmative, I was both surprised and elated.
Rolf was a bundle of wool jumping around the room, I picked him up but he jumped from my lap to Deepika’s and comfortably settled down on her lap. We did not choose him but he chose us to be his companions in this life.
It wasn’t easy to train a Chowchow especially as a first time pet parent but after the professional trainer hired for him ditched us within a week, I took it upon myself to do the job, spent hours on the internet to learn the process. I concentrated on the basics like responding to his name at a tender age of around 2 months. This was followed by the “sit down”, “lie down” and then not to jump on the bed, sofa or table. The last one is something that I personally don’t like, especially of the dogs that shed a lot of hair.
In the initial days till about 6 months he would de eagerly await by the dining table even after he had been fed…constant reinforcement that he won’t get anything from the table and ignoring his pleading eyes ensured that he would be sitting at a distance. Ignoring his innocent pleading eyes was difficult and I would invariably end up giving him a share of my chicken pieces at the end. But this ensured that he would trust me to give him his legitimate share of all kinds of meat and soon he learnt not to sniff or steal anything from the plate even if they were within his reach. We had decided after checking with his doctor and the above mentioned friend that home cooked food would be best for him. All through his life, he had three meals a day… one boiled egg and buttermilk for breakfast at 9 am, rice with boiled chicken for lunch at 1:30 pm and 2 chapatis with cottage cheese and boiled chicken for dinner at 7:30 pm. The meal times got registered so firmly that he would be waiting by the kitchen door at those times but would never enter the kitchen which was a no-no for him.
Walking him was an exhilarating experience and I enjoyed every moment of it. Some things got ingrained in his brain without my telling him but as a practice. He would not take a step outside the door till the leash is attached and would stop walking if it ever slipped out my hand. Actually, it was Rolf who walked me… every time we went out, he would decide which direction he wanted to go, no amount of pressure or cajoling would change the course of walk. In the mornings we would go out of the colony for a long walk (2-3 km) and meet lots of street dogs on our path. They would invariably bark at us but Rolf & I used to ignore them and keep walking. Some of those became friends and others started respecting our right to walk through their territory without harming each other. One or two street dogs were aggressive and would be in attack mode but the stick in my hand deterred them for any misadventure. I never understood why he or for that matter any dog would pee on certain car tyres and tree trunks leaving some others completely untouched.
Till 3 months, we did not take Rolf out for a walk and he would pee and do his potty at our back balcony on the newspaper spread out for that purpose but once he started going out he stopped peeing inside the house… he would, unlike other dogs, do potty only once a day and that too was a real test of my patience because he would look for secluded place and will do it only if there are no strangers around. Once done, he would rush back home as quickly as possible. It was this brisk walking that probably helped me in keeping my diabetes in control.
Rolf was a real celebrity in his own right; complete strangers on the road would stop and admire him. There was an instance where a mother-daughter duo going on the opposite direction took a u-turn and came to us just to cuddle him and take photographs with him. I found Hyderabad is a more pet loving city… in NCC Urban where we resided, every kid playing would stop by to pet Rolf and he enjoyed all the attention while on his walk. There was a lab called Kobe with whom Rolf had something special, they would stare at each other from a distance but never come close. It was Kobe’s human father who first noticed some anomaly in Rolf’s walking and brought to my attention. He was kind of dragging his left front leg while walking…it was very subtle and only visible through close observation. The doctor in Hyderabad suggested some multi-vitamin tablets which I could with great difficulty make him take…it was war every time I tried to put one through his throat.
We shifted back to Delhi in November 2020 and my first task was to take Rolf to the vet for a thorough check-up. Rolf was in good health; his internal organs were in perfect condition as was his teeth which I guess was because of the Dentastix that each evening he would have post dinner. The only issue was the setting in of early arthritis… this was something inevitable with his age. A dog becomes a senior citizen once it reaches 8 human years (60 dog years) and Rolf was 11.5 human years!! The doctor suggested that I take him to a park for walk on the grass/ soft soil… but this was difficult to implement as the colony parks maintained by MCD did not allow dogs those days. The walk on the soft soil/ grass perhaps would have alleviated his rheumatic pains in later years.
His doctor had cautioned me that once his health starts deteriorate, it will have a spiraling effect. We continued with his medication some of which were imported and costly but for Rolf I was ready to go any length to make him healthy. In the initial days the medicines worked perfectly and he somewhat regained his healthy demeanor and started walking and climbing the stairs normally albeit slower.
Rolf maintained a steady health through the year and celebrated his 13th birthday and we including the vet whose father is the breeder from whom we had got Rolf, were elated because he had crossed the milestone which none in his lineage had achieved. The vet attributed this to his upbringing and the home cooked food that he has been having ever since.
However, our joy was short lived as 3 months down the line, he became suddenly very ill and had to be administered saline/ glucose followed by antibiotics. He survived but lost his bladder and renal control. We made futile attempts to search for Adult Diapers for Dogs both online and offline stores and finally decided on human diapers carving out a hole for his tail which he wore till the end. Rolf would walk up and down the stairs till about last November-Dec ember (2022) but since the beginning of this year he has to be carried down and lifted up the stairs. Once on the road, by his sheer willpower he would hop around the 50 meter perimeter of our house and spend time observing the movement of people, other pets and vehicles. Those who had seen him since he came to us were visibly distressed and sad.
Looking at his health condition and need for special care, I decided that I won’t leave him alone… at least Deepika or I will always be there to look after him. For two years, Deepika & I did not take any vacation together; one of us would always be available for him. More so because the housekeeper who was very fond of him was also aging and it wasn’t possible for her to manage the hourly needs. Deepika had to travel once in a while for professional requirement but I stayed put to look after him. It was frustrating seeing him suffer and slowly becoming a vegetable. I was helpless, frustrated and angry at myself for it was beyond my control… sometimes I would be very rough with Rolf and regret immediately because it was not his fault that he was unable to stand even for two minutes while I put the diaper on him. I would keep a brave face for the others but cry privately. I am not a religious/ ritualistic person and don’t usually pray to any higher deity but I silently prayed to Madhav to relieve his pains and take him in his lap for eternity.
We realized the lights are dimming for him in the beginning of April this year when was unable to stand on the foam (yoga) mat to eat his food and one of us had to hold him up while he ate from the bowl. Then a week down the line he refused to even try to stand, his hind legs were practically paralyzed and front legs could not take his bonny weight of 25+ kg even with support. He stopped having his regular meal of rice mixed with chicken pieces so we started giving him only chicken and cottage cheese but the latter caused stomach issues and it was only chicken (he stopped having eggs too) and buttermilk. We were fearful that perhaps he won’t possibly survive for his 14th birthday but the fighter in him fought on and we quietly celebrated his milestone 14th birthday with his favorite Vanilla ice-cream from Basking Robbins.
He was stable for two days after his birthday and then started showing symptoms of kidney failure…whatever little he was eating it would come out within a short time as potty… needing change of diaper frequently. Also he started drinking lots of water…his head was down and hind portion unresponsive. He even did not have the energy to snap at me while I moved his position which he was doing couple of weeks ago, in fact he had bitten me twice as I lifted him to clean up.
Ayush came on Friday 28th April and sat with Rolf but he did not show much enthusiasm, it seemed as if he has given up completely. Probably he knew it was time for him to move on. His biting me was also, probably a sign of cutting ties/ bond. All through the day he consumed only water and buttermilk, did not touch any solids. In the evening I tried feeding him boiled chicken but he turned his face away. Tears were welling up inside me but I remained strong for the sake of others at home. I made some fish fingers for Ayush from which I offered a small piece to Rolf which he after lots of deliberation (sniffing and licking) ate… I had only one more in my plate which I gave him as well. That was his last meal.
I had contemplated, argued, debated with myself ever since the day the doctor gave up all hopes of Rolf’s health improvement and suggested that I euthanize him. He told me, “You have given him a very good life and taken care of his every need… because of your upbringing he has been such a wonderful, happy and calm dog, quite contrary to the breed’s nature. Let him go in dignity”. I was wearing a dark glass so the doctor could not see the tears welling up in my eyes with his every word. Rolf was my Jigar ka Tukra and constant companion… how can I let go of him. More pertinent question was “What right do I have to take away a life’’? However, all the dilemma and questions swept away as the days went by and Rolf slowly started becoming a vegetable… unable to move an inch on his own. It was the toughest decision I had taken and pray to Madhav that I don’t have to repeat it again for anyone in this lifetime.
His last rites were performed in Hindu tradition and we had the final closer after his asthi-kalash were immersed in the Ganges followed by Havan for his noble soul to cross the Baitaranito reach the Baikunthadham, his final resting place in the laps of Madhav.
Yesterday while buying milk, I bumped into Mala, my neighbour as well as a colleague in the organisation I used to work. We chatted about the recent spurt in stray dog menace in the neighborhood and possible ways to tackle it… only to realise that there’s no legal way to relocate the concerned dog(s).
Suddenly she asked me, “Are you fasting these days? You seemed to have lost a few kilos since we last met.” I smiled at the compliment and said, “These days real fasting is not skipping a meal but staying away from your phone and television for a day.” Her immediate response was “Can you really do it?” I said, “Maybe ” but the idea struck me and I decided to try it. “I will give it a go, today”, I told her which made her laugh aloud.
Mala said, “Okay, but let’s make it a bit more challenging for you. Today, from this moment on you can use the phone only for emergency purposes like receiving a call from home and electronic payments for essential purchases like you just did. Further, you will have to go out to the market/ mall at least once during the day but can’t spend any money. Basically, you will live the day out of your comfort zone.” I said, “Challenge accepted but I will need one concession… that I can use my car for mobility.” She agreed to that condition.
Coming back home, I put my phone in “silent mode”, took a bath and had my breakfast while flipping through the newspaper (normally I watch some random series on OTT). Then I went to the colony park for a stroll. This was difficult because I am used to listening to music while I walk in the park. Soon, I got bored and came home.
I decided to go for a long drive not realising that it was the peak hours of traffic but since I wasn’t in a hurry to reach anywhere I simply followed the flow of the traffic and reached the Connaught Place area. I was tempted to park and walk around… perhaps buy confectionery from the famed WENGER’S but remembered that I can’t spend any money unnecessarily. I kept driving and took the exit to Baba Kharak Singh Marg which took me to the erstwhile Gol Dakkhana roundabout from where I moved towards Mother Teressa Crescent.
I decided to go to the City Walk Mall in Saket because I don’t have to use any money to park there as their parking facility accepts FASTAGS. The Malls are a great place for window shopping and also tests you for impulse resistance. Here again I was tempted to have coffee from Starbucks… the strong aroma of Arabica Coffee emanating from the store was too much for my nostrils. I moved on telling myself the Bengali saying “Smelling the food is akin to half eating.” I did lots of imaginary purchases from my window shopping before returning home on time for lunch.
After lunch I started re-reading the biography of Rishi Aurobindo titled UTTARA YOGI. It’s a well scripted story of how a fierce revolutionary turns into a Yogi in later life. After a few pages I felt extremely sleepy and dozed off for a good 2 hour nap. Afternoon naps really rejuvenate you, especially at my age!!
In the evening I spent a good amount of time cleaning and dressing Rolf’s bedsore wound after he came back from his laboured walk which he insists on going every day. I had my evening tea quietly sitting on the balcony and watching random people on the street below. Watching people is one of my favourite pastimes.
By now, I was getting restless and itching to pick up the phone or switch on the television…
I again went out for a stroll through the colony lanes… the dog named Sheru and Snow-white came forward to greet me and allowed me to pet them… A new dog, much younger than these, appeared from below the parked car, I was hesitant to touch it as neither of us knew each other but all the same, I extended my hand for him to sniff and accept or reject me… The dog’s tail started wagging as it sniffed and slowly it came close to me and allowed me to pet him.
It was almost 9 pm when I turned back home. I was hungry and when Deepika offered parantha with homemade daal makhni, I accepted it without a second word. I poured myself a large peg of Black Label to go with the dinner.
After dinner I picked up the book and started reading from where I left it… I continued reading the book sitting in the drawing room while Deepika watched the television. Around midnight Ayush came back from the wedding reception of his friend. It was time to call it a day having successfully achieved my mission of MODERN DAY FASTING.
Aranyascope 